Melodrama Queen

Bubbles and Legwarmers

2009-01-13T14:31:00.004-05:00

I am going to learn to dance.
I feel so HAPPY and BUBBLY and BOUNCY and HAPPY and SQUEE and YAY and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.
See, this is why people always think I'm on something.
I need to get that 'dancer' look because it will motivate me to learn to dance, which will enhance my SKILLS and catapult me toward DISCOVERY and then FAME because I could, like...write songs and then sing them with a DANCE ROUTINE. People go for that, right?
But I'm doing this for ME, because I am who matters. And whoever and whatever makes me happy is what I will strive for, because that will make me better. And everyone loves perfection, which is what I can BE.
To end the rant.
My obsessions have subsided somewhat and been replaced somewhat with somewhat more real focuses, so, yes, I've been lurking online, ignoring my poor blog and neglecting to work and freaking out about my hair and doing...stuff. You know. Drawing and writing and songwriting and crashing into walls and yoga and procrastinating and Facebooking and improving my iTunes library (not really) and slaying beasts and....
Um. That's really about it. Pathetic, huh?
On the bright side, I can see the bright side without getting sidetracked with either how shiny it is or that there must be some dark truth beneath it all. Shudder.

I know who I am, I know what I want, and I'm working on how to get it. Sort of. Because I'm better at wasting time and writing songs and taking names.
But I am more. And it's time to dance.

And also? I typed 'om nom nom' into my Mac translator. Got 'nom del nom de OM' (with caps!) and consequently a new catchphrase.

EVE

2008-12-24T14:05:00.004-05:00

It's EVE, guys!
(I have, of course, been horrible lately and abandoned my blog in favor of RPGs BUT) I AM BACK!
And wasn't that just a lovely little pseudo-mathematical word-layout? Hmm.
So, what was I saying...oh!
It's EVE!
Doesn't that just kinda have a ring to it? I sure think so.

And now, for a glimpse at my life!

...

Any second now...

Okay, nothing. Basically I've been slugging around for a while. Lots of writing. More drawing. Lots of fantasizing and plotting and coming up with ways for my favorite characters to stop beating around the bush and GO OUT WITH EACH OTHER ALREADY (it hasn't worked so far, and my last plot involved being cast by a psychotic substitute in some sort of preschool skit in which one was a tapir and the other a fruitbat, and the one prior to that involved a shopping catastrophe! in which Haylee was wrongfully accused of shoplifting but got away because a giant robot started to pulverize the mall). Lots and lots of roleplaying, because I am a dork like that. Lots of catching up on my favorite (Canadian!) cartoons and canceled shows and SPANISH DRAMAS and NO DON'T KISS HER! YOU'RE ENGAGED TO HER HALF-SISTER (this actually was the case in one show, but it was in English and much more complicated than that, and they weren't really ENGAGED) moments. A ton of food and a lot of chatting/getting my BFF through many crises/plotting to escape to Iceland with my cohort and...um, dude/forging friendships/losing fencing tourneys/listening to music/eating cookies/singing and playing the Numa Numa song repeatedly, accompanied by various family members/decorating/shirking cleaning duties and doing such.

Also, I have a 'formal' audition for Gao's band sometime after the holidays (not sure how that will work) and a semiformal dance, also presumably sometime around the end of the holidays and such. And did I mention participating in EPIC TWIRP and that I am typing with one hand and eating a sandwich and that my dad is ranting about--no...he's singing his version of Numa...by the way, said song is now the subject of a new Tradition FEATURING said song as a carol. And for Hanukkah we have jalepeño-cheese-potato n' such samosas (those are Indian...things, for those who don't know, and they're really good) and WAIT dad is giving the dog a pickle...quoth: "Have a pickle-cookie! Mmmm....he's gonna hate it." And he didn't like it and ANYWAY these samosas can be treated as latkes and served with sour cream and applesauce. Planning on bringing some to Jewish Grandma at Uncle's Eve tonight. And it will be delicious.

And ohgod I forgot I put my minidisc into the computer disc-slot thing and GOD I HATE MAC DISC SLOTS and HEY THE NORMAL DISC CAME OUT YAY.

So, Go

2008-12-07T01:19:00.004-05:00

I had better never have anywhere near as many kids as I have songs. I am CHURNING THE MUSIC, baby! It is becoming rich and delicious musical mind-butter!
So, yes, essentially I have been off being useless for about a week. Or more. But, hey, if I get discovered, who's gonna complain? Y'all will find out who I REALLY am (presumably), my teachers won't have to deal with me trying to start debates over math problems, and I won't have to deal with math problems. Or essays.
So, yeah. Good stuff.

Anyway, my newest song is probably the fastest full song I've ever written-fifteen minutes or less. It's called 'Go' (working title-fear not!) and it's NOT a depressing/emo/metal-ish/fantasy-goth/random, I'm-gonna-print-this-song-and-ball-it-up-and-chew-it sort of song. It's more of a pop-punk song, with "powerhouse" vocal requirements and a higher pitch with more layers than I usually use. So, yeah. I'm excited. I mean, excited, you know? Like, the raw cream is bubbling at the top of the churn like 'RAWR' and threatening to curdle/attack/'splode unless I do something with it, and I'm like, REALLEH? And it's saying, 'YES, Rayne, CHURN LIKE YOU MEAN IT!" And I'm like, CHURNING. I totally have material for an album/tub right now. Or at least a demo/EP/box o' butter-sticks.
SO...I've taken a break from noveling until my characters, particularly those who happen to be psychotic and/or armed, cool down a bit. Which they haven't, except for Haylee, who has all of MY goals in mind, so I've been channeling her lately. Or maybe I'm just possessed, who knows.
Anyways. Focusing on music...er, work. Go check it out.
Love!

WHAAAAAT?

2008-12-03T23:51:00.002-05:00

Yeah, Rayne is now on YouTube, guys! Check it out or I'll be sad!
And no, it isn't a video, per se, so much as a black screen with music. The music is my vocal cover of a song I like that I used as a demo to audition for a school buddy's band. So think of it not as a lame video, but as something to listen to without having to be in the same window.
You can 'watch' it here. Leave me comments! And yes, I'm totally shameless with self-advertising. So what? I want to be scooped by a record label. Or something. Either way, I wanna be famous!
If you like my cover and want to hear an original song by moi, with or without Alto's guitar cover, check out the downloads page for my lame so-called podcast.

More shall be up soon, so keep an eye on my antics, will ya?

Love and megatackleglomphugshanktasemwahs for y'all!
-Rayne

Haylee likes the spotlight, too

2008-11-30T00:59:00.009-05:00

Click. Note the tags.

Dramaramasauruses

2008-11-25T19:15:00.003-05:00

I'm back from the back of beyond, isn't it wonderful?
And I made December's masthead today. It's shadowy and celestial, and I need a slogan for it. Suggestions?
Also-have discovered Photoshop brushes. AMAZING.
Anyway, click here for the prototype to suggest on, and here to see full-sized. Enjoy!

I couldn't stop laughing when I read this...

2008-11-21T18:44:00.003-05:00

Just when the long-awaited Twilight movie is FINALLY RELEASED...this happens.
Click it.
Now.
Seriously.
Okay, are we ready?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Don't get me wrong-I'm a sucker for the books, which I got for my birthday (!!!) and read in...well, less than a day, counting hours as opposed to regular time.
But really? REALLY?
HAHAHAHA.

quick bite of life

2008-11-09T01:37:00.001-05:00

firstly: mmm, cookies.
Secondly: Behind on NaNo. Should work now.
Thirdly: Need inspiration. Want a character based on you? Write in ASAP.

events; you might have noticed...

2008-10-28T12:46:00.006-04:00

...that October is the most EPIC month of the year. Really, try making an ominous but alluring title using any other one.
Some interesting stuff is going on, as well, the most obvious and important of which is the onset of my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite holiday!
Also, today is Tiki's birthday! Though she isn't having that awesome drag party after all (sigh), it's still pretty landmark and awesome! So keep holding on-sure, crap is invading your life with all the ferocity of a number of vicious...uh, mutant pirate creatures or something. And in the immortal words of Godzilla...

To continue, some quotes from school!

"Shut up, she's dying!"

Me: "Catatonic."
Ana: "What? I'm addicted to cats?"

JM: "Dude, I am so your bitch forever."

And...my H'ween costume!
A very complicated twist on the classic gothic ballerina. It involves my costume from two years ago, one of those generic spider-princess things, a sparkly sequin skirt from my previous dance life, a tutu, and a black skirt, and so as not to have it vetoed by the parents again, tights AND leggings.
And a vest, with a pocketwatch. And fishnet...glove-things and stuff.

Anyway, I am very excited and stayed totally within my budget (read: nonexistent). I love Halloween. Being theatrical, I see it as another chance to dress up and become someone else for a night.
Granted, I do that a lot, but for one night, all the world's a stage, you know?
I'm lovin' it.

In other news, I have two essays to write and NaNo is starting up on November first (squee!), so expect a special novel-related masthead for my first NaNo book and the first in the series of the same name...
*drumroll*
Living Pretty!
I am super-pumped to start writing it, and my characters are quite pleased that they'll be let out of their box soon.
It's technically teen chick lit, but here's a preview:

Once upon a time, the six of them were best friends.

Then they stopped believing in fairy tales.

Meet...

Faye Peakes-Golden. She's behind a lot more than the theater sets and gossip columns at Hadley High.
Tess Verano isn't who everyone thinks she is...in a very, very literal sense.
Avery Brook has some personal scarring she doesn't want anyone to know about...at any cost.
Haylee Madison loves to love people a little too much for her own good.
Melody Hague is starting to lose track of all her dirty little secret lives.
and Ava Stone has the biggest secret of all...and ways of finding out everyone else's.

Guard your skeletons, because these guilty girls don't have any
trouble coaxing them out of their closet.

Anyway, keep up and enjoy, and be sure to click 'read me' in my lynkage!

rants: rayne: saga: story: dance

2008-10-21T14:01:00.005-04:00

Dancing in the rain. It's an ancient cliche often employed by those emo girls who are obsessed with changing their buddy icons ALL THE TIME and usually signifying a blooming romance (which is about to, in this case, go running back inside with smudged mascara and cry-but let us not be cynistereotypical, eh? Let's look on the bright side! SHINY WATER, falling from the sky!) which will, perhaps, later lead to another buddy icon entailing the inherent faults of men.
But I digress.
Dancing, as you may know, is something I love and was imprinted on my two-year-old mind, when I was a tiny toddler in a tutu and tap shoes. (It still astounds me when I find some of the costumes I wore in recitals. I mean, this is America. We already have typical kids dressing like underage prostitutes; so you put your kid, who's unavoidably under six, into something that makes pre-teens in the audience squeal. You paint this baby's face and have them prance across a stage in a very practiced, very uncoordinated, very adorable routine. And a subliminal message is sent out to corrupt the youth. Terrible stuff.) I danced ballet, tap, and later jazz for seven to eight years, from when I was two to just before I turned ten and started getting taller and chubbier than the petite, flute-boned little pests favored in our limited, childish dance world (they were usually the ones who quit at perhaps eleven, after beginning at six, and were usually seen in school on the fringe of the popular kids' table), and quit to join 4-H and work with cute, fluffy bunnies.
Now, I am looking to learn ballroom dancing and maybe hip-hop, because I realize that this will greatly and positively impact my theatrical/otherwise artistic career, but until such a time as I can find a class that doesn't conflict with my social status, classes, age, or lack of a dance partner/friend, seeing as all my friends live far away from good old Conformington, CT (© 2008 Rayne) and have schedules of their own, and thus cannot take a dance class with me, I am stranded and completely unable to dance.
Now, I'll be the first to get backup on 'essential' skills-my yoga instructor used to call me 'gummi legs' and swear I didn't have bones-like extreme flexibility/not feeling pain, and I do an awesome (and often, I've been told, very menacing) high kick, and grapevines and jazz squares are second nature to me now, but I'm obviously incredibly clumsy and too easily distracted by music, people, random happenings, and shiny and/or moving things, so I guess that's an issue.
But back to the rain.
Have you ever wondered why people call me that? I pilfered it from a vampire book I found one day and desperately wanted to read, but never found again (it's been ages, several years now, and I'm still searching for it), and a friend of mine decided it was fitting. I was going through a goth phase at the time, and the name just stuck when I became especially involved with theatre and started focusing on my writing.
Also, nobody can, upon first learning it, spell my real name correctly. And it is often mispronounced.
The rain is so much like me; it changes, it falls (a lot), it's constant and moody.
The perfect partner*; it's time to dance.

Black Mamba v. Nessie

2008-10-19T17:55:00.003-04:00

So, I said I wanted a black mamba to guard the house, cause, you know, it's a cool snake and we have a trench and all.
And Daddy replies "No." after a short tangent involving something I wasn't paying attention to.
So, Daddy said "You can get it when you have several houses; that's the house I will not visit."
Me: "But I don't hate you that much!"
Dad: "If you get that snake, I will kill it."
Me: "But it's rare. It has a black mouth!"
Dad: "And it will be a lot more rare once I finish with it."

Gasp! A death threat towards my nonexistent snake?

A few minutes later:

"Daddy, what if I adopted Nessie?"

"That's cool. Nessie, I will worship."

Yay!

2008-10-15T16:17:00.006-04:00

So, I just used a drawing tablet for the first time evar. It was fabulous! as well you can see. For my first attempt, here's what I drew:

It got inverted, but it's pretty EPIC, all the same.

one life, entwined

2008-10-15T14:16:00.000-04:00

fragile dawn of blooming paper
seaglass smoothened idol hands
fleeing fountains silk and rice
silent curtain hides the light
and gives into the night
the foaming darkness we have ever sought to hide
and in the daisyfields and
buttercups have grown
into ivy-league nightshades
that shade which muted lovers color walls.

Rainbow Nutmeg

2008-10-14T21:42:00.003-04:00

So, I'm guessing you heard that good old CT legalized gay marriage!
And I know I always complain about Connecticut Conformity And Such. But really, have we done something right? Shock!
We also have boring license plates. Not even 'Nutmegger' embossing or anything. Le sigh.
So now, instead of 'Constitution State', I want to see a rainbow license plate that says 'MY STATE IS GAY~!'
Because that would show 'em.
What are your thoughts here?

chupacabras again

2008-10-11T21:35:00.000-04:00

Me: "Ohmygod, a chupacabra~!"
Dad: "Who called me a chupacabra?"

Pause.

"Wait...why did he just assume I meant him?"

on a STICK

2008-10-10T19:43:00.003-04:00

Today will long be remembered as a blot in the file of my brain, conveniently labeled 'UGHHHHH'.

Chaos. Mayhem. Messes. Floods. Architectural weakness (AKA there is a HOLE in the HOUSE). And so much more.

And I'm trying to forget and don't want to be laughed at because it was a traumatic situation and I will leave you with this...
I pretty much solved the problem myself (and yes, duct tape fixes EVERYTHING-because I duct taped the ceiling) even though I was on the verge of calling my mother and sobbing "MOMMY I BROKE THE HOUSE!", so watch this post in case I elaborate.

Let's.

2008-10-09T14:00:00.001-04:00

Me, standing abruptly: "I'm bored. Let's go wreak some havoc."

mindbarre

2008-10-07T16:01:00.002-04:00

i can see them dancing through their eyes
music-mirrored coloration
they're me but they're not mine
so spare your lies
and welcome to my mind
but have you realized this is
one screwed up trance dance

Lyndon B. Johnson was a chupacabra; discuss.

2008-10-04T13:39:00.003-04:00

Using the terms 'pre-Bush', 'post-Bush', 'convenient apocalypse', 'prevent', 'Bush', 'Palin', 'McCain', 'die', 'L.B.J.', 'conspiracy' and 'chupacabra',
formulate a reasonable insinuation concerning the upcoming election and using references from the past, the current Administration, the Republican party, and Tex/Mex affiliations.

coffee of doom, indeed

2008-10-03T16:12:00.001-04:00

Carcass chemicals make time fly
coffinated beverage
cream and sugar dustily entombed
so savor your chewing gum in the dark
because the coffincoffee stays
for your convenience
until you become its essence

EPIC grand jete

2008-10-02T16:11:00.000-04:00

on the brink of my regret
storms of endless minute-years
point your fingers fall asleep
endless homing felonies follow-up intelligence bugs
nesting alone and alive and awake and
anticipating the militia's favorite prima-donna
and with a radiorecieved jump from proportional dimension
will it fail...?

NONONONONO

2008-10-02T15:49:00.004-04:00

THERE IS NOTHING TO DO.
I HAVE RUN OUT OF AMUSING THINGS TO DO ON THE INTERNET.
SCREW THIS.

Also, I have decided that I will never go on a movie date. And I will make sure of this until:

a) Movie/snack prices go down by, say, ten bucks (which should still leave the money-eating chargers about SIX DOLLARS APIECE)
b) date-askers get more original and actually think of something to do
c) Follywood comes out with some decent movies. That can not be appreciated by an 8 year old.
SERIOUSLY, F'WOOD. RE-ENGINEER YOURSELF. BECOME A LEARNING ROBOT. SERIOUSLY.

dniwer

2008-10-01T14:07:00.006-04:00

ache for fiftythousandreasons of the day
will you sell your old parts to microsoft in return for the soul they have stolen
and give it instead to another machine
and god forbid chancing on old apartment magazines
'cause dammit man there's a bug in your head
so call the technicians and plastic proficiency
exterminators acting suspense
pick it up to air-fluted doom metal
slow notes wait now
we are strong and we don't care
for you and your perfect hair
and this is what you got today
so check your toolbar wordcount
have you got it yet?
or bluescreen system rewind reboot robot welcoming yesterday dude

Return to October

2008-09-30T22:03:00.001-04:00

Masthead's up!
Enjoy!

Wow. Just...wow.

2008-09-30T12:37:00.002-04:00

Him: Hold on, I can't see! There's stuff on the window...
Me: Yeah, it's on the inside AND the outside.
Him: No, it's on BOTH! Oh...yeah.

Narcissynicicm

2008-09-25T15:25:00.003-04:00

I love how my browser history takes me directly to my blog when I type 'me' in the URL bar. Although it probably means the cyber-robots are after me. Again.
The black mamba snake is indeed from Africa.
We drew marshmallows in Pastels today.
Also; Student Lounge here at The College is open at last! Check it out (unless you don't go here, 'cause that's creepy)!

Yeah...Sociology...

2008-09-25T15:20:00.000-04:00

So I completely forgot, but the funniest thing happened yesterday! Basically there I was at school, having finished with Lecture, and I got myself what was supposed to be a choco-caramel cone, but ended up being vanilla. Stupid machine.
Anyhow, I got out to eat my vanilla, but nonetheless awesome, ice cream in the courtyard (did I mention that yesterday was also a successful First-Time Favorite Look-Book Pic day? Because it WAS!) and I started sketching an idea I'd had, when suddenly I saw these two random guys in the courtyard with a balloon from a Hall Event that had occurred earlier in the day.
Me: Squeee! A balloon! *sudden thought occurs at seeing writing on balloon* I want to sign the balloon!
Well, that was what I did.
Me: You guys should go, like, all around campus getting people to sign that balloon!
Well, they agreed, so I tagged along and came up with a just-in-case, on the spot backstory. But that comes later.
So we're walking around and PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY SIGNING THE BALLOON. And we're all like, whoa.
The weirdest part was that most people just accepted it without asking questions. The first real question-guy was a professor in an office buried deep in the recesses of the twisty, labyrinthine 300 building. We got there somewhere in the middle of the e4xperiment and here my story played its part for the first time:

We're doing a social experiment to see how people accept a random change, represented by the signing of the balloon, in the monotony of their daily lives. It's for, um, sociology class. It's a Special Topic class, one semester only...taught by Some Hopefully Nonexistent Professor and this is for our project because we reeeeeally didn't want to write a paper. So, uh, will you sign?

Well, it worked. By the time we all left, we had four balloons full of siggies and doodles and comments and since it was my mom's b-day, I got people to sign her a birthday balloon. So that was cool.

Near the end of it, we raided the halls and got a crapload of candy. And today much of said candy was devour'd by ravenous people. Anyway, we got a ton of candy and stuff, and even though we told people we made a graph (obviously we didn't...sigh) we pretty much kept track of the Success of the Balloon Cult Following.
'Cause, you know, we totally had a cult following. No lie.

Here's what we got, mostly:

One Person said NO to signing the balloon. Granted, he is part of the Staff and was on the stairs at the time.
One Person in the graphic arts lab said she didn't want to sign the balloon, but gave in after hearing our story.
One Person signed and said D.Teh.Guy was weird.
One Person explicitly said we were NOT freaks, which we confirmed much later after a bout of confusion.
One Person questioned change.
Approximately sixty percent of people we approached did NOT ask why they were being asked to sign a balloon.
Approximately thirty-five percent of people we approached asked why we were asking them to sign a balloon, but did not object or follow up on this query.
Approximately five percent (above) had entirely unique reactions.
One Person signed in orange.
Our Cult Following consisted of about fifteen people in all.
Balloon Cult Following is a good name for a band, and I will destroy you if you steal it.
We had about seven non-cultist groupies who had to go to class.
We found more than ten people willing to accept random change.
We didn't go near the smokers, but they deduced that they WOULD have signed and/or melted the balloons.
Everyone who asked for elaboration on this 'assignment' believed our story.
The balloons definitely had to do with why they gave us so much candy.

WOO!

complycaytud thott trayne

2008-09-24T14:26:00.006-04:00

spin, technotarget rose
shattersprited seaglass globes
mirrionic hypnophonic floating gloating hydrophobe
artificial bananaism versus
the machineandghost therein
gyromovement line revolve! and straightened donotfall
denyeverything darling
because asfarasyouwilleverknow
nothing ever happened BEEP

beat

2008-09-24T14:13:00.002-04:00

chime4 echo
music member
architank takeover bid
silky sashes
hiding lashes
and so
the dance continues

One Should Never Begin With An Awkward Silence!

2008-09-22T15:24:00.004-04:00

It's absolutely true! Awkward silences are not fabulous enough to start a conversation!
Originally, I was going to begin this post with several empty lines, and then some asterisks, and then an actual *awkward silence* blip, but then I got distracted and listened to some angsty music and then I felt like beginning with a heartfelt 'BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH' but decided against it and suddenly realized I was listening to 'Just Dance' on repeat without realizing it, and THEN I realized that it had changed to something straight off the Emo Channel and was happy again.
And then I realized that 'Black Mamba' was not enough to distract me from a significant and all-too noticeable lack of vampires.
Have obviously been far too absorbed in Twilight lately.
Spent most of morning telling myself to wake up, and then remembering I had to check on a roleplay, and then straightening my hair (for once) and going sorta crazy with the DRAMATIC YET SUBTLE AND NOT AT ALL UNDEAD! makeup.
Heh.

Pomes

2008-09-18T13:29:00.004-04:00

I participated in the Poetry reading today. This is what I wrote for it and read:

Inspiration

Follow my dreams
it is as everything simply be's
is as is is and nothing more
In giving up the NOW
is there a NOW of which we speak?
Yet I try at last to sleep
Am put at last to words,
to rest
I am at peace
and I am the world.

As you may have guessed, it was a peace-poem reading. During which (on the spot, and following the reading of the above, to much applause), I wrote the following:

[Untitled]

Their silent 'hello' was fraught with plaid
With worlds of which I knowest not
It saddens me
to argue for conformity
Where I know evil of the same
In greetings we are outed
In coils of pearls of open light;
they plead to bleat of pleats of hated tartan
And yet again we are sworn to refuse
For sense has yet to rule
In mallrats of America.

Tell me what you think, which you like better, whether you agree with Daddy that the second is slightly overdone/unpleasant...etc. You know the drill. Criticize and enjoy!

Geekout

2008-09-16T13:02:00.004-04:00

I've rekindled my furious passion for roleplaying. It's addicting, and its given me several new characters I've had to make up on the spot, so my writing is happy.

Seriously, though, it's super-fun. You should try it.

An indication of the dorktaculous world of roleplay topics (many, not included, are too horrendously dorky even for me!) Here are what I would consider the Top 5.

1. Vampires, or something involving vampires (i.e. 'OMG WE'RE TRAPPED IN A VAMPIRE'S HOUSE', Twilight fan RPs, 'Servant to a VAMPIRE!', 'I Have Become A Vampire', etc.) Likely the most-played topic in RP society.

2. High School/Boarding School (i.e. normal school days, with normal human teenagers as characters.) Very popular, esp. among those looking to revisit high school or imagine its purported glories. Note that most RPers in this category (and indeed, those across the entire spectrum of topics!) tend to make their characters resemble/represent emo/goth/punk/outcast stereotypes, with a sprinkling of artisticality or sportiness. Oftentimes the player can't think of anything to add to their bio, and the character suddenly becomes very uninteresting.

3. Gifted/Hybrid/Genetically Engineered/Running Away From A Cruel Government/Elemental/OMG We Found Magical Stones and/or Dragon Eggs (i.e. most of the above having to deal with those with special abilities or morphs which allow them to become at least partially animal, usually at the hands of a government lab, or else the government is after them and considers them a threat, or there is an Evil King wreaking havoc and only they can stop it with the help of their Dragons! And unicorns~!. Other times these RPs involve elemental control and superpowers as well, etc.) This is, perhaps, the widest array of topics in any given category. It is popular, especially among those who with they possessed fantastic abilities and mythical pets.

4. Fantasy (i.e. FantasyWorlds Clash!, Elves and Dinosaurs and Wizards and HOLY CRAP random fighting dudes YAY!, videogame fantasy, Fantasy Creatures Hiding In Normal Society, etc.) Most of these involve at least one exclamation! point! and have something to do with elves or videogames or pop culture relating to fantasy culture in some way or the Lord of the Rings or something like that.

And tied for fifth place...

Animal (usually Wolf or Dog or Fighting Cats, gradually splitting into subcategories such as War Of The Magical Elemental Arctic Forest Wolves of DEATH~!!!!!!!, Stray Dogs, pampered Dogs, wolves and dogs...the Fun! list goes on and on. This is the category most likely to be filled with illiterates who suck at roleplaying and Capitalize random Words! I dislike these roleplays greatly.

Anime: THERE ARE NO WORDS. Somehow based on whatever random show that I've never heard of because its New from Japan and it doesn't JUST have NINJAS no now there are EVIL SHINY THINGS! and there are SUDDENLY hybrids and 'nekos' and obscure references to Japanese anime culture, if you can really call this random mess of MORE illiterate wannabes who think they can control mud or whatever. Most likely species to use chatspeak and/or anime slang. Nerdiest RP group. I know nothing about this topic-type and avoid these particular roleplays more than I would the plague.

Anyway, having been briefed on the estimated top 5 topics, You Must Now Learn The Basics Of RPs Among Experienced But Still Terrible Or Maybe Just Experienced And Actually Good If You Are Lucky (Hi, roleplaymates!)

Begin with a 'bio', describing your character. For example:

Name: (Because its really hard to write for a nameless character.)
Age: (Unless you're using an immortal character, in which case you would instead insert their real age AND the age they appear to be.)
Gender: (Especially helpful if your character has an androgynous name.)
Appearance: (Describe your character here. Lazy idiots often post links to photos/pictures of their characters. Don'd do this, no one wants to click them. Actually describe the appearance of the character. This can be split into three categories-Build, i.e. height and weight and stuff, Appearance, i.e. hair, eyes, skin, etc, and Wearing, which entails the wardrobe of the character. This is optional. If used, add these all as SEPARATE SUBCATEGORIES.)
Personality: (People hate when you say, "TO BE ANNOUNCED" or "You'll See!" and stuff like that. So try to box it using adjectives.)
Other: (Anything else. If this category is left empty, one may assume your character is VERY BORING.)

Follow the topic. If you're playing interspecially, add 'species' or 'race'. If you're playing gifted, add 'ability'. You should get this by now.

To post in context, you need not say anything, but to post out of context, clarify this by saying 'OOC:' and following up with whatever non-roleplay related thing you're trying to say. To get back in-context after an OOC, some people like to declare their status again with 'BIC;', meaning, yes, back in context.

After your bio will come an intro. This is where you actually get to write about your character. Others will do the same, and soon enough you will have a happy little society-story going.

Anyway, this concludes our altogether fabulous guide to Being A Fun-Loving Roleplay Dork, by the one and only Rayne! Enjoy~!

Screw Normality!

2008-09-16T12:57:00.002-04:00

You Are 72% Goth You are clearly goth. Even if you don't consider yourself goth, other people do.
Let's face it. You're a little moodier, darker, and weirder than most people.
But that's okay. You enjoy being different, and you're proud of who you are.
Many psychologists think that goths are more self aware and smarter than the average person!

Yeah, I think I'm going to be Goth next time I visit a shrink.

Although that didn't work so well the last time. Idiotic prep-loving guy.

No Kidding

2008-09-09T11:28:00.009-04:00

Holy crap it's raining hard.
You should all know that I love, love, love the rain, but there's one small problem-neither the rain nor I like to lose.
At anything.
Ever.
If you're a religious type, you could say that I'm waging a war with the von Rain Gods, or perhaps simply with Some Celestial Power of Doom. Or you might say that, Goodness, Rayney, You're Overreacting God Loves ~~YOU~~ THOU And THOU Shalt Never Be Harm'd By Vengeful Water Droplets.
Of Doom.
I say, yeah, well, I go into art class and IT ISN'T RAINING. It's a pastel-still-life-thing, so I'm a bit distracted with not getting the dust absolutely everywhere and someone goes, 'Yeah, I'd go get some more stuff, but it's raining.' And I'm all like, N'awwww.
And I go outside, and it's raining so I'm like, WTF WHY IS IT RAINING NOW?! and freaking out. Then I saved a hapless moth~!
Stupid Mothy only stopped freaking out and flipping over when I brought it to a warm, dry place which smells of Plant.
Mmmmm...plant.

Having saved Mothy, I decided to dance through the rain to my faaaaaaaaaaavorite songs*.

And then, miraculously, IT STARTED RAINING HARDER. WTF.

So I basically think something like, "OKAY, Rain, CHILL."
And it didn't CHILL. IT KEPT RAINING. So I go, "OKAY, Rain. I challenge storm now~!!"
And -shock!!-IT RAINS MORE.
Anyway, by then I'm thinking, 'A challenger! I shall defea-AAGH WET BLEAUFGH CAN'T SEE should NOT have worn glasses BWAH", which pretty much sums it up. Of course, I'm stubborn and/or stupid enough to AMP UP my iPod and DANCE (very badly) around the courtyard to a Paramore song. Which should pretty much clarify my insanity, especially since it's a song about fire.
And von Rauin-Szgod (typo, but I like it) doesn't like that at all.
So by the time I get across the courtyard, I'm soaked to the skin and FXING FREEZING. And I look like a drowned rat. And my playlist has ended.
So I was like, 'COMMENCE OPERATION 'HIDE IN LIBRARY~!' and that is exactly what I did.
It's been a little less than an hour as I finish this rant. It isn't raining so hard anymore.
My fingers are still freezing.

*You DO know I never intended to add a real footnote after all that, right? RIGHT?

[EDIT: 1215, military time. Still cold. Still soaked. Still not giving in.]

I guess watermelon has side-effects now?

2008-09-08T14:11:00.003-04:00

I spent a minute turning a watermelon gum package over and over and over in a futile attempt to find the opening.
Still no luck.

**UPDATE**
I found it.
Two minutes after the fact.

A Fitting Retort

2008-08-30T23:29:00.002-04:00

Kristen's limerick inspired this, which was too amusing to let go:

There was a girl in Missisip'
Who constantly spouted off lip.
She wrote up her rants
and 'sploded her pants
until she was hit by a brick.

ZOMG

2008-08-30T00:32:00.003-04:00

Well, Tiki's here, so I'm using a bigger font, yay.

So we went ice-skating, and we met this cool guy (Hi, Dave!). Anyway, it was super-fun and I broke my butt. Well, now we're here at my place, and it's like 12:30 AM and we've spent the last few hours with Rawr and Roger the uber-smexy guitars of doom. And now we're doing yoga, much to the horror of Tiki's muscular inflexibility.

Teresa: "Hey!-OWW."

Well, off to do more yoga. WOOO!
Ta~!

<3 Rayne and Tiki

PS: PANTS!

PPS: Brick, brick, brick, brick, brick, brick, brick, brick-it's fun! *honk*

circle

2008-08-26T12:37:00.002-04:00

School's starting again! This semester I'm taking a class on the US Constitution, Intro to Philosophy, and Pastels.
Fear my fingers and their residual colorful dust.

another unhealthy addiction

2008-08-22T17:08:00.003-04:00

Which appears to have eclipsed my formerly regular blogging. It's emo!

Yes, emo! See, once I discovered AOL Radio's Emo Radio, and the altogether unexpected peppy danceable nature of emo music, I have been addicted to said music.
To say nothing of emo hair. Loving the emo hair.

In other news, I went to Tiki's awesome party last week, have been living on forums, carbs, webcomics, phone calls, music and Facebook for the past few days.
Also went running with Marina the other day and have decided that the elite indie-ish coffee shop in the center is a great hangout for thoughtful, hungry thespians.
Speaking of thespians, I really, really want to see Rent on Broadway before it closes! (Hint, hint, daddy!) because it's a theater legend and I'm a theater person.
Do you see the logic? I think logic is cool, in its ironic-linguistic form. I like linguistic irony.
I'm also sketching out my newest writing endeavor, a teen series called 'Living Pretty'. Rest assured, my dear bloggity-bloggers, you'll be the first to see.

I'll leave you with a poem.

Daughter

of the dawn or
perhaps a sinking
ship awaiting
sarcasm, ironic
candies flung
through sugared
windowpanes
gingerbread house's spawn
of shoes and bubblegum
and yet.

live from the island

2008-08-08T18:40:00.002-04:00

I'd love to post a link to some ominous music here, but there's nothing ominous about the Island, contrary to popular media-inflicted belief. The Island isn't ominous, really. It's beachy and casual and busy and quiet and yummy.
Yes, I said yummy.
I'm talking, of course, about Martha's Vineyard.
I've been coming here for family visits 'n' vacation since I was two, so it's all so familiar, but everything's always changing. Good stuff. So far this year, we've done some stuff. I'd like to elaborate, but I do have to take a chance at having a life, you know!
In short, I've walked around and gotten some books and eaten some food and played Tetris.
I rock at Tetris.

Also, Dad got an iPhone 3G, so it looks like I'll be getting the old one. Hint, hint, daddy dear!
In other news, I'm planning the awesomest party of the summer with Tiki. More on this when we work out the details.
I realize that this has been a horrendously short and jagged post. Please don't exhaust your fingers berating me.
Mwah!

asdfghjkl

2008-07-31T19:42:00.002-04:00

and similar gobbledygook which seems to stem from my hand with wanton abandon whenst I try to type. And 'whenst' should totally be a word, anyway.
Anyway, I'm pleased to say that I've finished August's masthead, which may or may not come with a side-order of total site redesign. So....give me any ideas and take this poll, leaving your answers in a much-wanted comment or two:

POLL. Note that you may elaborate upon your chosen answers.

1) What do you think of the site's current design?

a) It's not bad. Sort of boring, but I like it
b) ZOMGITSTEHBESTESTEVARILOVESITIDO
c) How do you say 'hate' in HTML-coding so that it appears on your screen in 72 pt. red letters?
d) It could do with an upgrade
e) Other, presumably not involving purple elephants

2) What design would you consider a suitable alternative?

a) Totally psychedelic, man. It should look like your computer's on a frickin' acid trip.
b) DON'T DO ANYTHING. So long as you always have cool mastheads, it's great.
c) Revamp everything.
d) Just add more stuff. Make it look prettier or something.
e) Other, presumably not involving bricks.

3) Whatever else you have to say, do so now.

Thanks for contributing toward making this site better!
[Poser exit]

Hissy Fit

2008-07-28T13:24:00.005-04:00

You know how sometimes tons of hugeass things go wrong and then a bunch of tiny things get better but give you the feeling of looming, overwhelmingly terrible side effects? I mean, it's like those drugs that are presumably antidepressants, so, yeah, you feel happier once you take the damn pills, but then you read the list of cautionary side effects on the side if the bottle and it all goes away because you SUDDENLY go into ultimate hypochondriac mode and realize that you're allergic to the drug's main ingredients, which happen to be, oh, say, lithium and nitroglycerin. And then suddenly you have a swollen tongue and throat and waves of nausea and dry mouth and blurred vision and headaches and anxiety and dizzy spells and rashes and insomnia and a ton of crap problems and THEN you look closer and see liver inflammation, seizures, heart attack/stroke/cardiac arrest and death and do not drive or operate machinery while using this drug and carries some risk of dependency and then, in tiny print which immediately becomes huge in the no-longer rose-colored eyes of the beholder, DEATH.
And then, yeah, great, you're not suicidal anymore and then you pass out on the floor never to be heard from again, ultimately defeated by -gasp! the fact that you no longer feel like sleeping around, dammit! And sure, there's no more complaints and crap, cause guess what? You're DEAD!
Yeah, well, aside from that astonishingly, distractingly long comparison, I'm having a really crappy time of it 'cause the play is over and the cast party was great but now that's over too and my guinea pig had a heart attack from this bigass storm that rolled in and my dad wants to bury her and I'm all, WTF HELL NO!!! Because I am not dumping my baby in the ground and leaving her behind when I move! And to top it all off I've got writer's block for a new 'shallow-teen' series I'm starting and RENT us closing in September and I'll never have the chance to be in it and ostensibly on the plus side, I got my iPod back, but that's no real use because the storm knocked out the desktop computer (and you know what? Screw PC's and landlines, I'm not going to trust either for quite some time) so I can't import any new songs which REALLY PISSES ME OFF because I live off music. I am Music Vampire, hear me RAWR,
And I was planning a hunger strike, too, but Daddy Dear went and got breadsticks, which of course I HAD to eat, and now I'm pissed at myself.
And to top it all off, I still haven't planned mine and Tiki's Fwenniversary, and I haven't gotten a phone call all day. And you know what? I'm going insane here. Throw me a freakin' bone here.

No Comment

2008-07-25T14:46:00.002-04:00

Hint, hint!

Well, I'm aware that I've been AWOL for...um, ages. But fear not! I've just been at camp. You know. Counseling and all. And wreaking havoc and poking people and holycrapIjustmisspelledhavoc and singing showtunes and, um, attempting to dance. In essence, goin' crazy!
But, alas! I have to be at the theatre (notice my pretention!) for opening night in exactly two hours as I write this, and my face is stiff as hell covered in concrete.
Or, perhaps, quick-shelling chocolate? Hmm.
This masque had better flake off soon. And it'd better work well this time, too.
...but I digress. I'm so excited and PUMPED for tonight's show! I get to dance around in a feather-encrusted costume and wave a crazily, similarly feathered fan and not get freaked-out at.
And clearly the company I have been keeping has taken a toll on my literacy, personality, and, um...oh, yes, loquacity. Hence the repeated use of the enigmatically common 'um'.
Despite the frequent outbursts of La Vie Boheme proclaiming a hate of pretension, anyway.
And now, I take my leave!
Note to self: BREAK A FRICKIN' LEG!

Taco, taco, taco!

2008-07-14T21:24:00.004-04:00

Firstly, jalepeño-cheese taquitos from 7-11 are. TEH. SCHMEX.
So, on 7/11, Daddy and I went to 7-11and got one. lone. taquito, which was given to me as a noble gesture. Anyway, we set off in a search for another taquito.
The second store we went to smelled like chili cheese dispensers and hope. But...no luck.
The second smelled more like popcorn.
Still...no luck.
TOWN CHANGE.

By the fifth store, despite my ardent protests, Daddy gave up the 7/11 Quest for the Holy Jalepeño and Cheese Taquito of Doom.
Yeah, well, today we got the last two caloric peppery things, thus finding 7-Eleven Taquito Heaven.

Except I think it was even better when I went to the dispenser that one time and covered it in cheese.

Anyway, to continue this chain of taco!ness, I'll include a large portion of an IM today with Joezorg, which was, well, really funny.

Me: Dude!
Him: Dudet!
Me: Dudeo!
Him: Dude[insert random letter here]!
Me: Haha
Me: Taco, taco, taco!
Me: Bleargh
Him: Something, Something, SOMETHING!
Him: BradghfinkleRAWR
Me: Rawr!
Him: BLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOKA
Me: This conversation pwns.
Him: damn STRAIGHT
Me: Woo!
Him: Yeah!
Him: Let's keep it going!
Me: Yeah!
Him: SHMARGLEFARGLEBLAHUNICORNNONAHS@
Me: Toastzorg!
Him: HOLYFUCKONASTICKZOMANTO
Me: HAHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IM LAUGHING
Him: HAHAHAHA THATS CAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU LOLOL
Me: I mean...wombat army of doom! Stole my laughbox!
Him: Well puff the magic dragon just jacked my cheezenips!
Me: Bite its tail!
Him: consider it done!
Me: Five, five dollar, five dollar footloong!
Me: From Subway!
Him: Plug it in Plug it in!
Me: Dun dun dun!
Me: AMPITUP!
Him: from GLADE'S PLUG INS!
Me: HA
Him: MMMMHHMMM!
Me: Pie!
Me: Muffins! CUNNINGHAM MUFFINS!
Him: Cake!
Him: Thirst! POWERTHIRST!
Me: Powerade! Lemonade! Dragonade!
Him: WTFage!

Yeah. That's how we roll.

Ka-PWN

2008-07-14T18:46:00.007-04:00

Camp. Wow.
So much...uh, stuff going on. Tiki did a blog post of her own about the camp drama (warning crazy normal illiterate small people warning), mainly bee-yotch-ing about the people and extolling the virtues of our undeniable talent. But be warned that YOU WILL EXPERIENCE CHATSPEAK IF YOU CLICK HER LINK.
I mean, I love Tiki and all, but the girl ain't got nothin' on mah bloggity skillz. And besides, she forgot some awesome people in her list of...uh, awesome people.
Mhmm. Don't you just love my description?

So, yeah. There are three main camp groups, and most people overlap into a few.

THE UBERSPIFFSZ: Featuring the PWN-people, alias Teresa and...yeah, you guessed it...MOI! And our posse people (meaning the ones we accepted as posse-worthy, as opposed to the clingy annoying people who follow us around.) and people with good voices and acting skills, and also people with super-awesome hair. Though it's preferred if you have it all. But anyway, onto the populace.

THE WANNABES: Probably everyone's least favorite group. These are the people who try pathetically, desperately to attach themselves to some group, usually the one in greatest favor, and hence usually mine, and manage to cling like limpets to the shred of acceptance they have gained. Terrible stuff, really. They think they have talent, but no. They also try to upstage more talented people. Urgh.

NICE PEOPLE WITH MINIMAL TALENT: Do you really need an explanation?

RANDOM PEOPLE WHO SHOW UP FOR NO APPARENT REASON: There are two types here: those nobody wants, and those who are 'specially invited to come visit, like Audrey.

Ohhh, Tiki, you just got PWNED.

Speaking of Tiki-PWNage, note to self: get those jeans and write 'Rayne PWNS piece of ass!!!' on the butt pocket.

Signed, stamped, and sent away for further affirmation

2008-07-10T20:16:00.007-04:00

READ THIS POST IN ITS ENTIRETY STOP

Yes, I've been gone for a whopping what, ten days now? Is that a record? I think it might be, so sorrysorrysorry if you freaked out and thought I was still dead. I'm not dead, although I do collapse dramatically to the ground and twitch alarmingly on a pretty regular basis. And you know what that means...
I'm back at theater camp! Actually, there's only what, two weeks left? Holy crap.
Anyway, it's super-fun and there have been so, so many 'you-had-to-be-there' sequences which I can neither relate nor explain, because doing so may result in my actual death.
As we're on this ever-morbid topic, d'you like the new masthead? I realize it's super-late and all, as am I, but I fin it quite funny and also quite ironic, since it's been ages since I've had miso soup. Hence the post's title. Which refers to my death warrant, presumably.
You know what's so, so great? It's been over a year since the drama of last year's summer theatrical experience, in which I had a bigger part despite my newbieness to that particular program. Oddly, my posse has grown. I kid you not. There are more people looking up to me (for some odd reason, as I'm sure you're all thinking. Am I right? Am I right? Oh, take that look off yo' face, you know I'm right.)
(I once had a SuperBuddy icon, you know, before I started using the awesomer, Mac-based iChat and decided that talking stereotypes were not. cool. at. all. and she was all 'goth' and really, it was so annoyingly typecast, because all she did was say "Frickin' awesome" when you typed 'cool' and "You know I'm right!" when you said something along the lines of 'yes' and "Kill me now" at a hint of exasperation, all in a sarcastic voice. Um, hello, how is that goth? I talk like that all the time. Only, you know, in a much cooler way.)
and following me around (did I distract you from your train of thought? Huh, huh?) and surrounding me and getting my stuff for me and bringing it places and telling me how talented I am and stuff like that. I love attention. And I looooove having ~~minions to do my evil bidding~~ so many cute little friends!!!!!!!!!!!!
But again, it's only another two weeks. Sighhh. In the meantime, Tiki and I are PWNING everything again, and Audrey's curtain-pulling again, starting tomorrow (SQUEEEE!) and I'm writing a random awesome-as-hell spinoff musical, presumably entitled 'Amazing Vlad!' with Joe, featuring Scott as one of the group of 'extremely attractive cheerleaders/Vlad groupies, and also as Jessica Alba.
Here's what we have so far:

AMAZING VLAD!
The untold story of the favorite character whom you know nothing about!

[Open on dark stage. Sudden light on extremely attractive cheerleaders who appear, seemingly out of nowhere.]

CHEERLEADER 1(RHO): V!
CHEERLEADER 2 (OHO): L!
CHEERLEADER 3 (HWIB): A!
CHEERLEADER 4 (Jessica Alba): D!

[Note: Jessica Alba portrayed by SCOTT.]

ALL: VLAD!

[Music begins. VLAD descends to the stage on a bungee cord wearing a mask and shredding an electric guitar. And also holding a sword. 'Cause swords are cool.
But I digress.
To continue, wearing 'leather pants and jacket* and a white tee shirt that (quoth) 'really emphasizes his rocky abs and structure'.]

JESSICA/SCOTT: OMG! It's VLAD!

[Begin TRACK ONE: ]

Track one is currently undecided. We're also debating where to get all the materials, whether or not to trust Tiki to not kill everything and everyone and stuff, and, oh yeah, th plot and how all the songs're supposed to sound. Ah well. It's gonna be awesome, anyway.

Oh, and I'm thinking of getting a tattoo. Like, a small one, maybe in purple, on the inside of my wrist, of a biohazard symbol with a cute pink heart in the middle. Because I'm obviously a living hazard to anything alive. Or anything else, really, Rawr. Flee from my inherent chaoticality!

Idea, rendered on wrist in liquid eyeliner, which is totally great for temp tat drawing:

Well, hope you enjoyed my witty, scattered comeback postage! Woo! And hooray for bigass posts!

i am not dead

2008-06-30T13:29:00.000-04:00

thought you should know.

'cause maniacal laughter is never out of place, or overrated, or out of place. evar.

2008-06-23T21:12:00.001-04:00

I WANTS TO GO TO ICELAND. THERE ARE PONIES. WILD, ICELANDIC PONIES. PONYGE.

Luckily, John McCain still wins in THAT area.

2008-06-19T16:14:00.003-04:00

Today's my dad's birthday. He's turning...OLD!
(Actually, forty. But IMO, he's got the Old-ness! Hence the John McCain crack Speaking of which, I heard a joke about crack yesterday. Ha. Can't remember it now. But I am so, so, so digressing. Back to the point now!)
(Uh...if you didn't get the John McCain thing, look it up.)
(Go on, do it yourself. I am far too lazy.)

(...)

(If you're still here, you are either not interested in US political jokes or you think I work for you. Seriously, I'll be happy to find you the link if you channel me $10 via Paypal so I can buy the website I want.)

Right. Onward!

In main news, I won a bout at yesterday's open-fencing session. Woo! Also, I think I'm starting a webcomic, thanks to your generous contributions (again, via PayPal. Hint, hint.) and Jack's top of the line graphics equipment. oh yeah, and my ideas. Also, I wrote a few songs, designed some new stuff, plotted outfits 'n' stuff for TikiTime, and did a ton of other stuff.
Also, still want to go to Iceland. Unfortunately, Daddy doesn't share my interest in Iceland. Or ponies. ICELANDIC ponies owned by pretty guys. Sigh...
Anyway.
I have a job now! I'll be assisting my 92-odd year old neighbor out. Coolness! Maybe I can teach her to play Speed. My great granny is wicked good at it. Meh, why not?
Also working on my writing and stuff. You know.
Oh yeah-did a facial masque this morning. Awesome stuff, though obviously not MEANT to be used directly after a shower. Although I do look good with a white-painted face, apparently. This opens Halloween options! My favorite holiday!
And I've been spending time among the coven. Of doom. Yeah!
Also, I just bit my tongue really hard. Ouch.
This has been a scattered post, indeed. Well. I'll be going then. Ta!

Honey, it's not that I don't love you, but this is really starting to hurt me

2008-06-17T11:23:00.002-04:00

Never, ever, ever microwave honey for more than 11 seconds. EVAR. Hurts like hell and a whole lot hotter.

Evil Clowns

2008-06-16T12:28:00.000-04:00

3 JOYS: Writing. Running/shopping. Listening to music.
3 FEARS: Psychotic shrinks. Psychotic clowns. Stupid people.
3 GOALS: Be perfect. Get famous. Buy shoes, improve resume, learn guitar, and get out of frickin' Elementary Algebra.
3 RANDOM SURPRISING FACTS: I am alive. I am a pimpette. I suck at making microwavable cappuccinos.
3 CURRENT OBSSESSIONS/COLLECTIONS: Collections: Ducks. Little porcelain boxes. Obsessions: Too many to list.

Tag, you're it!

Battle of Teh Elements...er, Bands

2008-06-14T16:52:00.003-04:00

Well now, isn't THAT just wonderful. There's a rooftop concert going on, and the band is definitely one for special effects. The drummer is absolutely smashing, dontcha know.
And the lead singer? Is GOD. Friggin' rock gods and their drama. Thunderstorms offer mad PWNAGE, but it's better when fronted by a rain diva.

Meep!

2008-06-05T16:52:00.010-04:00

Bwah, what a great week I'm having! Finally, my lingering PMS is gone, for which I am profoundly thankful. Somewhat, anyway. Although probably not as thankful as those who have suffered my presence.
And then there's two pairs of super-cute shoes in the past week, one of which I shall show you:

OMG cute! Yeah? I would venture to say they are cuter than mi chica in England, but then she'd kill me. And my other shoes? ARE CUTER THAN THESE. No lie.

And here are some pictures I took a couple of weeks ago of a rainbow on my ceiling. Now, let me explain that my ceiling is covered in CDs. And hence it is shiny and silver. And it's not done, so don't laugh at the blank wall. Look at the rainbow. It's a happy rainbow!

Pretty~!

Also, a bunch of girls in a chat I know are forming an army and taking over the world with the awesome powers of toast. Nude.
I am SO loving life right now.
Ta!

wargh

2008-06-01T14:34:00.003-04:00

Quinneh got a haircut. Poor Quinn. He used to look like a rug; then, a couple of weeks ago, he looked like a dog.
Now he looks less like a lhasapoo and more like a cross between a Wheaten terrier and a whippet.

Me, I'm in a very neutral, boring, apathetic mood. It's really quite pathetic. Also, I hope you've noticed the arrival of Fat Ducky!

Thinking about drawing more via digital-traditional stylus/tablet/screen thing. Want a harp so I can make pretty twinkly noises like in this song. Also want three more guinea pigs so that we can have about ten of them to mow the lawn and spend less on pig food. Might be seeing Paramore live in August with Rina.

Bored. Ta.

Update: I HAS CUTE SHOES! THEY IS SUPER CUTEEEEEEE! SQUEE!

私はそれをした!*

2008-05-28T23:36:00.005-04:00

So today I woke up at noon and later went to my neighbor Rina's house and we hung out for, what, four hours? Sweet. Anywayyy, we talked and watched TV and played with her dog (also, strangely, seemingly a Lhasapoo) Freddie and did nails and played volleyball with a pillow and ate ice cream.
Typical girl day. Awesome.

And then (yes, this is the good part), I decided, after much deliberation and delay, to go ride...TEH BIKE.
Yes.
TEH BIKE.

Well, I fell off twice, once on the grass and once, memorably, if I can go by the pain in the heel of my hand (pain, I tells ya! Pain!) into a bush, and I couldn't get onto the seat and not fall so all the blood rushed to my feet and they went numb, and once I finally managed to get my feet onto the pedals without collapsing onto the grass, I nearly fell into a bunch of flowers and once I finally got onto the bike and started rolling and fiddling with the gears and trying desperately not to fall off, I veered into the street and fell onto an immaculately lawnicured front lawn (because lawns don't have hands, get it?) and then later I almost hit a car that was parked on the street and then...I was moving.
The worst part was that throughout the entire bloody process, which took place on the open sidewalk, another group of neighbors was outside, turning the thing into a spectator sport.

Bloody effing hell.

But after a while, persistence paid off (and Jesus and I had an underground rave with some mad hippies, it was dead cool, too) and I was moving. Yessss!

I was going pretty fast, too. It was great! And I went baaaack, and foooorth and so on.
And now I'm intensely excited about my ¡restored mobility!
Woohoo!

And now I sound like a complete and total imbecile. Woo.

Updatesz: High ponytails with giant floppy silky scarf bows have become my new thing.
When I become famous, it must be noted that I will get Marina on TV.
The other day, I finally got a new bikini. Now, to make it look good.
I have decided that I should experiment with being a hat model. Cause, you know, I have a great head and, like, all hats look good on me.
Sketch ideas:
Kosher pickles: The rabbi in the pickle factory blesses them all as they go.
Long John Silver's food never gets wet. How would you explain the commercials, then, eh?

Also, check out the Wikipedia article for 'The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy'! Under 'characters'. Ahhh-musing.

Yeah, I did it!

*Japanese for above endspeak.

Thus Continuing to Defy Convention:

2008-05-25T18:15:00.003-04:00

I gots me a bike yesterday. Now, keep in mind that I haven't had or ridden a bike in, what, five years? Holy crap.
I can't ride it properly 'cause
a) my legs are too short (my excuse, dammit!)
b) I will fall.
c) and die.

Anyway, who said it was impossible to forget how to ride a bike?
A: An idiot.
B: A champion cyclist.
C: An idiotic champion cyclist.

Thank you.
As a result, my long-awaited mobility has not, as expected, been restored-oh, no. Guess I'd better learn to run. Much, much faster.

Also saw 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull', formerly entitled (according to dad) 'Indiana Jones and the Saucermen from Mars'.
Can you tell by the titles (one of which is ridiculous and the other too long-take your guesses) how bizarre and, well, bizarre (for lack of ~~a better~~ another word) the movie was?
Later.

House Arrest

2008-05-22T14:17:00.004-04:00

I've lost track of the days. I haven't left this house in too long and it's getting dark again.
I haven't taken a shower since I've been in here. Luckily there's nobody here but this matted dog to smell me...

No, I'm fine. Wrote that yesterday, not having left the house since-are you ready? MONDAY.
Well, that's when classes ended, so I've been inside hiding from the cold wetness without.
And don't worry, I took a shower yesterday. I was merely exaggerating.
So here I am, sitting around, watching TV, doing weird, pretzel yoga and flipping my matted dog (Quinn) upside down over...and over...and over..
I've barely eaten anything, either, so I guess I should've included that to, you know, amp up the melodrama.
Anyway, going off to make some tea. Ta.

Welcome to Life

2008-05-17T19:04:00.007-04:00

Hello, my ~~minions of doom~~ friends!
I bet you were wondering what I've been up to, eh? I sure have. Wait, what do you mean, you haven't been waiting anxiously by your computer screen, day and night, waiting for an opportunity to cyberstalk me?
Bah. I am offended now. Prepare to die.
Nah, I'm too easily distracted/bored/amused to kill anyone, really. And this morning I was struck by an overwhelming urge to join a peace rally in the center of town.
I will now proceed to treat you to a ~~brief~~ probably lengthy summary of my recent life.
Oh, and have you noticed? I finally discovered strikethrough HTML. Fun, fun!

Anyway, so many incredibly funny stuff happened since my last life-rant. Unfortunately, I seem to have forgotten most of it.
Can you say 'crap'? I can.
(insertstronglywordedranthere)

So, in short, I will simply say: Woo!

For Charlie

2008-05-14T16:16:00.000-04:00

Her tiny frame is overcome with dry sobs, sounds and motions that lost their meaning before any of this began. What has she done to merit this suffering?
If only she didn't already know.
She calls herself a vampire, a fairy, a princess. Somehow it's true, but she is only fourteen and everything is falling around her in shards of hateful, mocking truth.
She's still hoping it isn't true, hoping against hope, because the shadow of pain is already beginning to surface again.
Everyone she's told has tried to sympathize, but no matter how well she disguises it for them, it's easy to see that it isn't working.
She hasn't told her mother, for obvious reasons, and she's determined not to let her know until the very last minute possible, if at all.
Her mother is out, and she thanks God that nobody will see what she's about to do.
There are knives in the kitchen, shiny and silver and clean.
They won't be for long. She has to kill it somehow, and she's in no position-fiscal, social, or otherwise-to do it the 'proper' way. And even if she did, the masses would still object.
Her only fear is her smallest fear, and yet she fears it above all else.
What if she kills herself?
She doesn't want to fear it, but she does, all the same, for that is human nature.
Retreating back to the bathroom, she inhales sharply, taking in microscopic daggers, but that isn't why she's hurting.
Plunging the blade into her stomach, she gasps and cries again.
It has to be dead...it has to be dead...
She cries again and returns having tried to kill her child.
When the ambulance comes, she's been superficially forgiven.
But she wonders...

...Unless We Call Our Henchmen to Make Sure You're Roaming Unaccompanied...

2008-05-10T13:23:00.003-04:00

Last night, I woke from a dream, during which I was struck by a stunning realization. Being asleep at the time, and the time being approximately 12:30 AM, I completely lost the meaning behind my revelation, but I'm sure it has some deep philosophical significance. Luckily, I managed to remember it:

"The UN is like the Travelocity gnome."

Any idea what this means? I think I fell asleep dreaming of vampires and politics.
You'll never roam alone...

Indulge, the Queen commands you!

2008-05-06T12:51:00.003-04:00

Not only is it Spring Fling at the College today, but according to fellow blogger Just a girl, it's International...um...what was it?
Ah! International No-Diet Day! Because the world isn't as skinny as Kristen, and that's okay!
Anyway, I've got the most adorable pink tiara (hence, the Spring Fling Melodrama Queen! Obey, my evil minions!) and a trick water camera and some bubblegum bright pink lip gloss, and a super-cute shirt, so I'm ready to party and claim my right to rule!
Also, they're putting my dad in the dunk tank later. Mwahaha. Yes, it was my doing. I am empress of all I survey.
Well, gotta go survey some more and eat some stuff! Long live sweet stuff and pink stuff and me!

Cotton Candy!

2008-04-30T22:23:00.002-04:00

It's delicious and fluffy, so I guess it wins against my dog.
I got it up early, so I'll leave you with a poem, which is simply untitled.

Here:

inspiration never strikes twice in the same place
sharp pain in bliss and in chaos
because heresy never really dies
the stars weaving gauze made of spidery lace
as the butterfly flaps its fragile and beautiful wings
showing off for the moon-moth which lusts after silvery light
and the city falls covered in shimmering white
and the rain pours from buckets aloft in the skies
and they look at the sun with unseeing black eyes
blinded by the lost story way
following paths to hypocrisy
slaves to the selfish traumas of the night
the mass emulsifies and waves unfold
Such is the plight of a single humanity’s soul.

Mystery

2008-04-28T19:16:00.001-04:00

Her eyes are bright, her footsteps soft, as she ventures into the silence of the dawn. The trees loom over her fragile form, threatening to break her with their shadows. The forest is her enemy, foe but also kin. She fears the light and the dominant noises, the unfulfilled cries of humanity, beginning with the sun's ascent. In the moonlight her soul is set free, yet the liberty binds her to the ground she treads on. Her mind is caged by cruelly paradoxical worlds, worlds of hatred, light and water. How she hates the feel of rain dripping down onto her body, a by-product of a condescending society's disdain! Still, she continues to journey, ignoring the jeers of those who see her and laugh, confident in their superiority. They know nothing, and so she walks past, aloof and unseen, supreme in her dignity.
She walks, and so night falls and is forgotten, but she remembers. In the moonlight her soul is set free, and she walks alone, the luminous essence of a fallen hierarchy, the condemned, the captive queen.
And soon she is joined by the rest of her kind, and they walk, each confident in their own infallible power. So they vanish, submitting to no one, joined only by the faded threads of their agile ferocity, until the sun rises again.
And she's alone once more, suppressed and wondering, never straying from the path.
Such is the nature of cats.

Algebra Quiz

2008-04-25T11:33:00.008-04:00

(awesome)

Quiz

Fill in the blank:

"I love factoring because _______."

My response:

"I love factoring because...eventually, it will prevent the evil alliance of squirrels and robots in a plot for universal domination."

I'd put it simply, but that would be offensive

2008-04-23T14:35:00.004-04:00

In light of recent events, the least but most important of which would be the results of my letter from the Academy, culminating in the ultimate, eardrum-bursting truth of my screaming skills, the stress of life and all that crap, the end of the show, shoes, and many other things, which I'm not going to go into detail about. Nor will I 'put it simply', because, as stated in the title, that would be offensive. Although, if you really want to see how my brain works, feel free to borrow it for a day. Preferably soon, because then you would be forced to write my history essay whilst I lay drooling, trapped within the circling paradox of my mindlessness.
If you accept, you'd better give me my brain back.
Anyway, I've been writing my masterpieces and reading my history book and dreaming my future and drawing my characters and thinking my thoughts and cursing my head off inside said head because there's too much going on and it isn't getting me anywhere.
Well, you know what? Maybe I'm more than they see! Maybe they hate me because I'm not a shallow, superficial, conformist, preppy media whore. At least...not on the outside. Who knows what I really am?

Success is the best revenge. I could head for success and be vengeful! VENGE, I SAY!
But, alas, it seems I am getting carried away. I'm just a girl after all. Just another multitalented crazy bitch trying to make my dreams of vengeful awesomeness come true!
And then...then, O torturous ones, blind followers of the cult of material sameness! Then, we shall fight!
And I'll have better shoes than y'all. Because a bit of materialism never hurt nobody.

mass outbreak of hiatus...hiatusses...hiatuseses...

2008-04-14T15:19:00.005-04:00

Or something along those lines. What's the plural form of 'hiatus', anyway?
Whatever. It still totally sounds like a disease. A very unpleasant disease, no less.

I found this today, and it's awesome.

Can't We Just Do Meth Like a Normal Couple?

Pissed girlfriend: You never want to do anything fun.
Exasperated boyfriend: That's because everything you call 'fun' involves heroin or fire.

--Union Square

via Overheard in New York, Apr 8, 2008

Anyway, I've been having some fun of my own(no heroin, although I can't promise anything about fire), despite the end of the play (closing night was yesterday, yes, it was a matinee, and yes, I came home dripping wet and smelling of tomatoes, salt, and chlorine at 10:30 PM. What's your point?) and the consequent sadness. After A's party, E suggested that we all do it more often. Looks like I have summer plans. Sorry.

but I can sing, so there

2008-04-07T11:54:00.010-04:00

I've been a bit busy-okay, very busy with the play and all, but I did expect a few comments on my artistic ventures. I was-am-disappointed in you. Be ashamed!
Meanwhile, I've been chatting nonstop, waiting excitedly for my letter from the Academy whilst my friends anticipate their own letters in various states of badly-disguised hysteria. I'm fairly confident that my audition OWNED.
Really.

Other than that, I've been at my shows, playing Speed, Spit, Garbage, BS, The Game of Life, and a bunch of other, more obscure games. Backstage, we subsist on a diet of whatever happens to be there. Most days, this involves chocolate eggs left over from someone's Easter, chips and pretzels which, from the behavior exhibited by us theatrical snack-coveting girls, may as well be the sole reason for our existence, and the occasional bit of food brought for oneself, which is, more often than not, stolen by someone else.
I've brought the tub of mini cookies from Trader Joe's (by the way, check out their website-it's awesome) twice, and so far, it's the favorite among the girls.
The first time, they lasted five minutes into the second act.
The second time, we were determined to have our cookies and eat them, too, while simultaneously making them last long enough to delay hunger until we were done with the show.
That didn't work out so well.
After giving the sugar-high resistant some cookies, and having been blackmailed into giving L. and GG, the incredibly sugar-high duo of mischeviousness, a controlled number of said cookies, B. and I (namely, the tall ones) contrived to hide the cookies in a place unreachable by said short people, particularly L, who's onstage too frequently to get sugar-high and get away with it. This place was originally going to be on top of the TV, which is on a shelf over the sink to ensure that we don't miss any cues, but fell behind said TV when someone stood on the sink and tried to grab them.
Luckily, we managed to rescue them. That time, the cookies lasted two minutes into Act III.
Food makes the backstage gang more cutthroat than that last pair of super-cute shoes in the 'sale' window when spotted by shoe-loving mortal enemies.

Game of Life has some interesting consequences every time.

-Like the games where B. filled two cars with little blue dudes and her own pink figure, and then got a job as a stripper (who knew the 'entertainer' card could be so versatile?) and picked up E's husband (who she ditched on the side of the road) twice.
-Or when E. decided to land on every single 'kid' square. Her antics included moving my piece from 'baby boy' to 'pay day' and giving me the life card anyway (I think she stole 3 kids that time around). In the end, she dumped her husband and sent her oldest son off to college to make room for adopted Chinese twins. She had 2 cars and 11 kids in them, 2 out of the car, and the vanished husband that B. was cheating on her own with.
-Or the games where my game-husband was a football freak who made me spend fifteen thousand frogging dollars (don't ask) for (crappy) seats at a football game. I threatened to throw him out of the car, run him over, and move to another state to avoid the homicide charges.
The second time, I just replaced him and let him sell himself to B.
Whore.

Here's something pretty odd; not only is Panic's new album stuck in everyone's head (including mine), but B. is still obsessing, and what's more, my parents like it. Joy.
Really, it's not bad, because for once, I might actually get to hear something I like over the car stereo.

Maybe later I'll go on about the singular lack of hair-grabbing adoring stalker-fans and my unreasonable ass-kicking.
Or not.

Drawin'

2008-04-02T12:51:00.005-04:00

After I decided that the drawings I posted the other week turned out well, I thought you might like these. Click for big.

Charcoal sketch, rendered in chrome. I love Photoshop.

-Robot Marshmallow- poking fun at Society's perception of 'cool', which so often seems to embody tackiness (which is a 'tacky' word in itself, and unfortunately calls to mind no synonyms) and vulgarity. So here's the big -RM- as a gangsta.

And here's -RoboMarshy- as y'all know him. This was actually the first full drawing of -RM- I did.

The superbly emo drawing I mentioned, having been cleaned up a bit and uber-emo-ified.

And then I started playing around with filters...

Plastic-wrapped emo drawing.

Lalalalalala...sing that emo song!

Lalalalalalaaaaaaaaa...

Annnnnd....LALALALALA!
Right. I'm good.

And now, for a presentation sponsored by AARDVARK CorpX's Department of Cute Things Pertaining to Art! Starting with puppies!

Socute~! Drew this at rehearsal one day. Yes, I drew a cat version too, which'll be up as soon as I can scan it.

Featuring this cat. OMG SO ADORABLE YES? Look at those eyes! Awwwww! I just wanna make a plushie that looks like this cat so I can snuggle it!
Shut it, taxidermists.

Cute cat hears/sees music. Cute cat likes music. Cute cat is probably evil, but far too cute for anyone to care.

And now cute cat is singin' along.

And I have just realized that I've been calling it 'cute cat'. My so-called gift for finding interesting names seems to be dissipating. As does my vocabulary, because...nevermindtheyarejustsocute~!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my drawings! Because whether you did or not, I'm gonna barrage you with more.

mwahaha

2008-04-01T07:07:00.005-04:00

if you're reading this, consider yourself smart, indeed, for finding my blog despite my April Fool's joke!

What I did: I changed the blog URL from melodramaqueen.blogspot.com to melodramaqueen1.blogspot.com. I am so evil, really.
In the event that you did end up here, I put up a masthead photo of 'Spiffy Trail Mix'. You can see it here.

If you follow me on Twitter, you should have seen my message:

"I have decided to become a religious extremist and repent for the sins of the world."

Luckily, that was an April Fool's joke too.
What were you up to?

Priceless

2008-03-31T20:42:00.015-04:00

So I'm IMing B (the guy-obsessed theatrical pimpette with ice-cream speed-eating competition potential), and seriously, I have to hire this girl.
And, I suppose, her posse of hot emo guys:

B: Oooo I scrolled back to the top and It hought the button that says flag blog said Fag blog and I’m like OMG THATS SO MEAN!

B: AHHH THE EMO BUTTON DOESNT DO ANYTHING
Me: what? oh no!
B: it just brings you to the page again
Me: that’s what its supposed to do...what were you expecting?
B: bring up a picture of an exceedingly hot emo?
Me: oh. Find one and I'll add it
B: YES! I’ll be back in a flash!
Me: I'll leave you to surf through the Google pages of emo porn then.
B: YESSSSSSSS!

B: *as her drool drips into a bucket while she scrolls through the pages*

Accordingly, I've made some buttons with the pictures she found...don't worry, because if she did find emo porn, she kept it to herself.

The first result of her emo search.

And the second.

And the third.

Wow, B. really, really, really likes emo guys.

And, yes, this picture moves.

I'm sure she had a lot of fun with this search thing.

She loves them to the point where she made this singer her husband in the Game of Life.

And its another emo dude! Now in black and white!

But I agree-that hat rocks.

Well, that's it, mainly because I'm not going back to the barrage of confusing URL's she sent me. So, B, feel special and awesome-and always remember to surround yourself with lots and lots of emo guys.
...

curtain opens

2008-03-27T23:35:00.001-04:00

Am I allowed to talk about the Scottish play now?
(MACBETH)

Yeah, we had our opening night! Watch this space-more to come.

XTHISXSPACEX

If Anyone Asks, Tell Them the Ice Cream Exploded.

2008-03-27T13:20:00.005-04:00

Yesterday at play rehearsal, chaos ensued.
This is not to say that such an occurrence is in the least unusual, but merely to shed a light upon the state of chaos at rehearsal last night.
Firstly, our tights are being washed, forcing us to identify said tights tonight, which is, by the way, opening night and I am so excited~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Secondly, we played about 2367509 rounds of BS, which we almost always end up doing. I really need to find a multiplayer alternative to Speed. By the way-Speed? Best two-player boredom-based card game ever.
Anyway. Ended up playing the Game of Life. I started in college, graduated, then got a job as an accountant (courtesy of E the birthday girl, even though I'd wanted to be an artist) with a salary of $100, 000 every time I passed PAY DAY. And I got a cool purple Victorian house. Bam.
Yeah, then my life went downhill when my little person-character got married to some idiot who spent $15, 000 to drag her to a football game. Bah. Where the hell is the 'divorce' square?
Seriously.
Anyway, we had to stop, and I drew a really emo...um...drawing...which isn't done, but rest assured you shall see it when it is.
Then we all went for cake and ice cream and other stuff to celebrate E's b-day, which was a considerably louder celebration than GG's backstage iPod-oriented foodfest. And GG wasn't there. She left early. Bah.
I got so many awesome titles and quotes and crap. And we ate cake.
Yay.

Quoth:
Me: "You know that feeling where you're with a load of really cool, loud crazy people and you're in a restaurant and people are looking at you strangely?"
Someone else, probably A, HM, B, or E: "Yeah, kinda like now?"
Me: "Yeah, I totally love that."

And now, it's...you guessed it! It's FUNNY MOMENT TIME! YAY!

Teh scene: L had crawled under the table and when she popped up again B was talking about pimps*. How the topic went from sticky hands and spoons to pimps, I have no idea. Let's blame B and her own B reasoning.
L: "What's a pimp?"
B, very matter-of-fact-ly: "A pimp is-well, you're a girl, so...well, I really hope so...you'd be a girl pimp."
L: *blank look*
B: "Basically, you hang out with a lot of guys and keep your whores in line."
L: "What?"
Insert outburst of mad laughter from everyone else.
B, who would die without being surrounded by guys: Me, I'm like that. I like to think of myself as...a pimpette. Yeah, I'm a pimpette."
More laughter.
Highlight: me writing down random phrases from the conversation, many of which are amusing and awesome.

Firstly:

The Sea of Toast
What About Tea
One Small Voice
Curly Hair is Only for Wrinkly People
Leave Her in The Dark
How the Chocolate's Absorbing the Vanilla Tie-Dye (E in reference to B's enormous 3-scoop sundae, which she finished in under 10 minutes, hence defying the laws of cold food and speed eating.)
"It's actually Tie-Dye Vanilla. Ekskyoozay-MWAHHHH!" (Later, B in reference to above reference when referred to.)
"We'll never know until she actually writes something" (E in reference to my furious phrase-writing and great-title freakout.)
"I Love Curtain Call." (A, in reference to curtain call.)
"Is everything a good title?!?!" (Most likely everyone, in reference to my approval of random phrases. In answer, yes. Yes indeed.)
American de-Communism (Me, having misheard B, whom I seriously need to hire to talk all day about random stuff. Best job ever, really.)
"I finally got my ice cream!" (HM, in reference to the ice-cream related mix-up and consequent delay of the serving of said ice cream.)
"Dude, you guys, it's 9:48." (B, in reference to the time and the significant lack of ice cream in her goblet.)
"That's a good one!" (Either A, E, or L, suggesting my repeated phrase of title acceptance as a title in itself.)
"Don't fall in, we'll miss you." (B, in reference to A's comment on the hugeness of her ice cream.)
"Use a spoooooooooon!" (B, in reference to my attempt to use a straw on frozen ice cream. Oops. It was really funny, though.)
"...why are you scrubbing your elbow?" (Me, in reference to E, scrubbing her elbow.)
"If anyone asks, we'll tell them the ice cream exploded." (Either HM or E, in reference to my toppled goblet. Yum.)
"There was something pumping...in the wall!" (A, upon returning from the bathroom.)
"What were the other ones?" (Me, upon forgetting.)

It's opening night, and I have my algebra midterm tomorrow. Wish me luck on the test and a spidery array of many broken theatrical legs tonight.
Toodles, dahlings!

__
*Recently and randomly discovered pimpin' comedy here. Hence, LOL.

...Um, Wow.

2008-03-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

Ran into Math Professor today on way to see History Professor with question. Apparently he wants to photocopy some of my quizzes, because my answers are just that cool.

Previous quizzes:

Question:
What is
f(mathprofessor)

My answer: "Much killing of clones".

Question:
What are you going to do to the midterm on Friday?

My answer: DOOMX will DOMINATE
Which I wrote in orange Sharpie, for good measure.

And the quiz brought up today, which I'll post as soon as I get it back.

aardvark corpx

2008-03-26T12:23:00.012-04:00

Before you ask, 'corpx' is not a sinister offering to a higher power. It's an idea that's been festering in my mind for quite some time now, and it's only vaguely suspicious and/or sinister. I won't go into it in depth, but I drew this simple 'aardvark corp' tee yesterday:I know it's crappily drawn, lopsided, and simplistic. But do you see what I'm getting at? If so, be sure to tell me, because, I assure you, I myself have no idea whatsoever.

Anyway, I scanned a load of my other drawings:

A very complicated doodle that essentially took me from February to July 2007. Click for bigger and better viewing.

My guinea pig, Paprika (also known known as Poof, Piggy, That One, HER [as in 'make her shut up'], Pigasus) rendered in charcoal and watercolor. Isn't she a great model?

Random drawing of a dino. Possible future masthead.
And so cute~!!!!

AND NOW...

INTRODUCING...

YESSS! Robot Marshmallow at last!

Aww, how can you resist the cuteness of a teary-eyed robot marshmallow asking you very nicely not to steal him?

Despite the paper bag, you can totally tell. Really.
Or not.

Aww, so cute! Robo Marshy has a cute little -RM- girlfriend! And an economy sized bucket of popcorn. Hmm. Click for full-on cuteness.

Obviously, there's more, but I haven't scanned them yet. You may also have noticed the new masthead and the changes surrounding it. If not, bah. Whatever-be like that, then.
You now know the type of stuff in my sketchbook. This is actually a fairly accurate representation of said sketchbooks, only with a whole lot less eraser marks and random splotches of ink and charcoal and pages with crazy ideas and poems and scribbles and crap. You know.
You like?

Thus, Thou Vanishest

2008-03-25T13:52:00.002-04:00

But please don't.
I've been Punished and won't be updating for a while. Please leave me plenty of witty comments to read when I return.
In the meantime, I've been designing stuff again! So, yay!
I ate all my peanut butter cups and now I'm sad.
Spent most of rehearsal last night playing BS with up to seven people. Suffice it to say that it was a fiasco that was ended shortly before it became a fiasco.
Opening night is the 27th, it's the 25th, and I have to download Panic's new album today! So, that's another yay!
Anyway, sobs and yay-moments aside, you probably noticed the extraordinarily late March masthead. Which I made months ago, and then decided not to use. I got desperate and put it up anyway, instead of the robot-marshmallow one i'd intended to put up. Unless there's a scanner in here...'scuse me.

Bunnehz

2008-03-23T22:01:00.004-04:00

Oh, yes, it's a conspiracy.
The bunnehz want to rule the world. Can't you see?
Easter. The day a large, spooky bunny is reputed to walk the Earth, breaking into houses and leaving suspicious pastel-colored plastic-y presents for children. And chocolate. I don't know what ever happened to not taking candy from strangers. An oversized rabbit seems strange enough to me.
And what's with the eggs? Bunnies don't lay eggs, people! They're mammals. M-A-M-M-A-L-S. And if they did lay eggs, would they really be like colored chicken eggs? No, because bunnies and chickens are not related! One is a bird. With feathers. And a beak. One is a rabbit. It's fluffy. And its nose twitches.
Besides, Easter is supposed to be a holy day of celebration and new life and church and whatnot. The marketing industry has turned it into a commercial holiday, because that's what it does. Commercial holidays=$$$$. Look at me, I speak Marketing!
Besides, bunnies don't have the most innocent reputation. In fact, they seem to be distinctly violent under all that fluff and cuteness.
Further Proof that the Bunny Conspiracy is, Indeed, Evil

The media. I know, I'm a hypocrite (and/or human-take your pick) and I'm always complaining that the media is a lie and a facade and a front and whatever, but I am going to take all that...and turn it into evidence! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Okay, enough evil laughter.
Do bunnies laugh evilly? No, of course not. They just twitch their noses. Do you see? By not laughing evilly, they are hiding their inherent evil-bunny-ness!
Right. Let's continue, shall we?
Movies!
We'll start with some godly comedy-Monty Python and the Holy Grail! Because Easter's inherent commercial holiness is obviously not to be disputed*.
If you don't know the storyline for whatever pathetic reason, look it up. Watch the movie. Now.
Or, if you're lazy or just short on time, watch this.
And then this.
Once you've seen them, can you dispute the evilness of the Bunny Conspiracy? That was a killer bunny!
Still in doubt? Fine.
Donnie Darko. Dude masquerading as Evil Rabbit named Frank opens portal to time travel and stuff, causing the end of the world.
Bunny domination, see? And besides, that is one scary bunny mask. Shudders.
Yes, I seem to like movies with homicidal rabbits in them. I'm not saying that the Easter Bunny is necessarily homicidal.
Just watch out.
They're always watching, twitching those little fuzzy noses and watching.
Yes, watching you.

* -snicker-

Mushrooms Like That Induce Disco Fever

2008-03-15T16:13:00.004-04:00

No, I am not talking about what you probably think I am talking about. And if you don't know what someone must have thought I was talking about, even though I'm not, well, go you to just a certain extent.

But now, to the point, because, yes, I have one! Y'sss indeed!
Did I ever tell you about the time I didn't use vowels for a day and replaced them with apostrophes in everything I wrote?
But that is a story for another time.
Yeah, so I'm in another play, and it's fun, although most of my peeps (ahaha) and I are backstage most of the time. Whatever. It's fun.
The other day, we were all fooling around backstage because we were bored and our last scene was over. This is how bored we were...
-I was practicing fencing with a knitting needle.
-GG was actually knitting
-HM was poking a suspicious muffin (which was really okay, and there was no need for them to throw it away)
-And everyone else was just bored.

So, I brought cocoa, and we went into the back room, and they found out about the cocoa, and I was all like, oh. So We all had some, and then GG spotted a giant mushroom. Yeah, a mushroom. A spinning, light-up disco mushroom. So she points to it and goes, "OMG! I WANT TO LIGHT THAT!"
Well, it was on the shelf above the sink, so we try to make it light up, but we can't find the plug, and I ended up getting it because I'm the tall one. And B turns it on, and it LIGHTS UP AND SPINS and there are all these colorful reflections bouncing around the mirrored dressing room.
It was pretty awesome.
And then GG reminds us that her birthday is on Friday, but we didn't have rehearsal on Friday, so she decided that we should have a birthday party for her backstage and we should all bring food and use the mushroom.
Then, a Supervising Adult walked in and told us to turn the mushroom off.
Bah.

So...the party.
Was.
Awesome.
It was essentially put together in the ten minutes that GG, B, and L were onstage, and obviously, it was the quietest party I've ever been to, but it was pretty cool, all the same.
Don't worry, it got oddly crazy. I took this with my cell phone's crappy video camera:

Above: GG rocking out to B's iPod.
Hahahahahaha.

Of Auditions, Buttons, Midterms, and Purple Sharpiez

2008-03-12T14:51:00.005-04:00

Well, it's me. Really, who were you expecting?
I totally didn't tell you about my audition on Saturday! All I did was post the thing I wrote during the workshop at my 'audition' for Creative Writing. I say 'audition' in quotes because, really, a workshop and an interview do not amount to an audition. my audition for musical theater, though, was an audition. You know, the kind with dancing and singing and monologues demonstrating theatrical prowess?
Anyway.
Firstly, I pretty much swept everything together on Friday night. As in, the night before my big audition. As in, the night before my big audition, I picked a monologue and stuck together my portfolio and found my jazz shoes and practiced my song for the first time since...August.
Yeah, so, the audition. Right.
Well, I got there, signed in, went upstairs, got sent to waiting room. You know the drill if you've ever auditioned for anything, ever.

There were a lot of 'awkward silence' moments. You know the ones-group of people in small space, those willing to talk otherwise preoccupied, those unwilling to talk staring blankly into space...loud, ringing quiet gap. Someone (probably me) goes "Awkward silence!". Ice melts a bit. Nervous laughter. Repeat as needed. Show off socks. Pull on jazz shoes. Smirk at auditionees less prepared than you.

Enter audition room.

Considering that I absolutely suck at dancing, I did really well in the 'dance' portion of the audition.

More to come, gotta go to play rehearsal! Did I mention that I'm in another play? No? Well, I'll get back to you later!

UPDATE!

The monologue went well, though not as well as it could/should have.The song...OWNAGE!

Yeah, I've been telling people about it since it happened, and now I don't feel like doing it again. So haha.

Never Fade to Black

2008-03-08T22:41:00.001-05:00

She still remembers that night.

The street is dark, the silence bouncing off the chipped gray cobblestones, a subtle tribute to a simpler time. They are worn nearly smooth now, and she cannot resist reaching down to touch one. She feels the light of the moon, reassuring and serene as it wavers in still liquid air, twisting to catch tendrils of her hair. It amuses her, this game her mind plays with the moon.Or is it the moon? The luminous, balloon-like structures which line the street are glowing, too, and, she imagines, playing games of their own. She laughs, truly happy for the first time in what feels like forever. The shops are silent, now, and she is alone.
But something is wrong, and frightening in its subtlety. Something is wrong. She knows that and wonders, She knows that and pauses to listen, waiting for the feeling to return. Who is the lone figure, walking here, of all places, so late? From across the street, she sees the glint in his eyes-the eyes of a shadow-and shivers.
It’s colder now, and she’s getting hungry. The meal her employer gave her earlier is still fresh in her mind, though the taste is beginning to fade. She can still-almost-taste the faint presence of carefully spit-roasted chicken marinated in a vibrantly orange sauce with a name she cannot pronounce, The cake, with its creamy white filling, with drizzlings of chocolate, a taste of champagne...for a moment, she was a princess. It is a childish dream, a memory, fading as rapidly as the sugar and spice and everything nice she has ever eaten. But now the memory is vanishing, she is cold, she is hungry, and it is late.
For a moment, she was a princess. But as total darkness falls and the lamps are extinguished, she is eclipsed by shadows, melting into the inky blackness of night-like early morning.
She is no princess. She is the restaurant’s trashgirl, and as she removes the last piece of refuse from the street, she knows her place.

Yes, she still remembers that night.

Of Hypocrisy, Uncalled-for Hilarity, and Others

2008-03-07T18:27:00.004-05:00

Yeah, well it seems like I'm back and I'm back with a bang
Do you wanna know what happens when I disappear?
Not from here
Maybe you think you know me but trust me, honey, you don't know a thing
Laugh it off, I'm still right
Right here in front of you, can't you see?
Didn't think so but that's okay now
I'm all right
I've always been right
Why do you think I'm-not going to finish now
Not gonna tell you what I think
Figure it out yourself for once
Find your own way out
I'm okay.

Yeah, now I'm done with my semi-poetic undirected rant.
Talked today-are you surprised?
Yeah well, I talk, all right.
Quotes:
"Gimongo!"
Is so much cooler than ginormous, really.
"Your mom is so last week."
Turned out she was really a mop, anyway.
"I'm wearing pink Argyle socks. That stopped AT&T from listening to this phone call."
So it isn't true, but the government would ruin it for me anyway.
"I want to be a Mexican robber."
Sound familiar?

All for now. More later.

Updatesz

2008-03-05T14:46:00.009-05:00

In answer to your unasked and uncalled-for questions, yes, I'm aware that:
a) it's March (and the fifth, no less!)
b) I still don't have my masthead up because I'm lazy and can't meet a deadline
c) if 'deadline' were still a literal term, I would have died a long time ago
d) it's Ally's birthday! Yay!
e) it took a lot of clever keyboard-and-finger-work to get only her name linked
f) I am kneading a gum eraser furiously as I type because that is my new habit
g) I need to do math homework (bone for dear mum and dad)
h) it took me a full ten seconds to remember what letter came after 'g'
i) and I accidentally typed 'f' up there
j) which goes to show you that the alphabet hates me and should not be dealt with
k) and I'm going to stop with my list now because this is just too much.

Anyway, yesterday I visited the school I hope to attend in the fall, which all depends on me, because I need to print out my writing for my portfolio, decide on and practice a song for my audition, and do a load of other stuff.
And did I mention? My audition and my interview are on Saturday.
This Saturday, actually.
To top it all off, my history midterm is next week, I still need to do my math homework, I'm in a play and have daily rehearsals beginning tomorrow, I need to brush up on my drawing, and I need to do a load of other stuff.
And did I mention how easily distracted I am?

(RANTRANTRANTRANTRANTRANT)

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Okay, I'm done now. I promise. But I'm not done with the March Masthead, and I promise it's going to be super-cute and feature my new character,

-robot marshmallow-
But pleasepleaseplease don't pressure meeeeeeeee!

(RANTRANTRANTRANTRANTRANT)

Okay, so I lied. But this time, no more rants. Promise.
Seriously.

Anyway, back to my visit. To make a long and exciting story short, I was a shadow (cool term for visitor/guest/potentialfuturestudentbringingmoneytotheschool), and so was this other girl, Mary.
Turns out, that same Mary is my IM buddy, the friend-of-a-friend sort of thing, who I had never met, and we went through the entire visit without recognizing one another, and then freaked out upon realizing it during the IM conversation we had last night.
And to top it all off, one of the girls in the first class was named Rayne. Weird.

Welcome to my world.

Oh, and apparently now my mom wants to get me a modeling gig, since I'm tall. Not too sure if I can pass as thin, considering the warped views of our society, especially in the modeling industry, but whatever. I need to run, big time.

Now I'm done. Leave me comments, designs, money...anything my your heart desires.
Toodles.

Me Stalk Yuu!

2008-02-28T23:02:00.002-05:00

No, that is not a typo. It's an expression of randomness, if a grammatically incorrect one.
Anyway. Today, I was poking through everyone's profile interest links, and when I clicked on K's profile link and clicked 'V for Vendetta' (which I managed to insert in my [last minute] history paper, a fact of which I am quite proud), I saw the first result, clicked it, and consequently found Kelsey's blog.
Can I just say this: I don't know Kelsey, but much like the rest of you, I already like her. So, kudos for you, Kelsey. You have been added to my list of 'resulting in the escape of my inner stalker' links. A prestigious honor indeed.
Also in this link bar, you'll find Teresa's blog, Microwaveable Food for Thought. Now, I've been reading her blog inconsistently ever since she appeared on one of Angelique's all-too rare comment opportunity box-thingies.
For differentiating purposes, the author of MFFT is not Tiki, from earlier posts which you most likely haven't read. The aforementioned Teresa, better known as Tiki, has a blog, but it would not go at all well with these, ours, and others.
As I waited for those last five words to load, I made a cheesy grin and thumbs-up expression at the computer screen, just for the hell of it.
Anyway, if you were mentioned here and/or find yourself in my sidebar, well, the title applies, and me stalk yuu.

postwalking

2008-02-28T16:15:00.001-05:00

laughing we walk
careful in our recklessness
keep off the grass
keep off the road
of course we'll be okay
one summer day
laughing we walk
joking complaining and
not understanding a word
of our troubles and
wishes and
dreams
when suddenly
lightning strikes
-crassh-
and i'm standing there wondering
what has occurred
they're laughing again but
some are concerned
i'm laughing and
crying and
wondering why this always
seems to happen
to me but
really i'm fine
did you see that
how'd she do it
is she okay
yes thats what they say
we walk back recalling
many injuries i have sustained in
so short a time
the scars are healing thanks
for asking
maybe you notice my story has
changed yes it
seems to do that with every
new telling but
really i can't say that i
understand why
well my mind is different my
views have changed and
it all seems so clear but i
know i've forgotten that
day but you know
its okay
does it make me
a liar well really
i don't think that's true
i'm not lying to you
cause its true this
is what i remember and
what i've forgotten and
yeah i am telling the truth
i remember one summer day and
postwalking

this is cool

2008-02-27T12:16:00.009-05:00

Having failed and/or withdrawn from four (yes, I said four) Pre-algebra classes (all of which taught the same thing), I have always been somewhat skeptical of the concept 'math is fun'.
Scratch that-VERY skeptical, almost to the point of full-on denial.
So I was pleased with the results of my placement test, which I took! With only one simple online calculator which kept closing on me during the test! And didn't have a variable button or anything of the kind, forcing me to think all the way through the algebraic equations!

*insert cumulative audience-induced -GASP- here*

Anyway. Today, I had algebra at 10:30. We started on Functions, jumping from chapter 3.5 or so to chapter 7.1 in a single bound. I smell a dumb joke involving Supermath...
Quotes:

Professor: "I call this a fraction taco."
Me (thinking): Great. Now I want a freaking taco.

Professor: "Why is Y the 'y' coordinate?"

Professor (pointing): "Graphically speaking, what does this mean?"
Me (not thinking): "Italics."
Professor: "...what?"
Me (snapping out of it) "Oh, that...wrong kind of graph. 'Cause...italics. You know."

Professor: "Is function notation fun yet?"
Class: "...no..."
Professor (writing on board): This is cool. (yes, he wrote 'this is cool' on the board, with an equation beneath it. Isn't that awesome*?)

UPDATE: IM conversation with old friend** which I thought should go here:

[16:33] Me: moo
[16:33] Her: awesome we we can speak soo many languages...umm wat other sounds do cows make...?
[16:33] Her: *munch munch*?
[16:33] Her: haha
[16:33] Me: something like that
[16:33] Me: TACO
[16:33] Me: !
[16:34] Her: whoa cows say TACO??? since when???!
[16:35] Me: fraction taco! the cow was taking my algebra class and the teacher was all like'fraction taco' and the cow is like "TACO!" and the class is like O.o
[16:36] Her: haha

(more funny math quotes and pictures [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] to come as soon as I can get them OFF the mac and ONTO here. And yeah, you'll have to wait for the funniest ones until I can get my notebook. Haha.)
(Just realized that I filed this post under both 'awesomeness' and 'school'. Enjoy it while you can-such a a pairing is rare indeed.)
On another note, I managed to write 2 pages of a 4 or 5 page history paper in about an hour and a half. not counting the works cited. And no, the paper didn't suck***! Yay!

*yes, du'Loque, I am following suit and stealing your asterisks. Mwahahaha! But seriously, this is the only time, I promise. As for 'awesome', here's something totally not awesome-'Panic! at the Disco' got rid of the exclamation point, which makes me SO SAD and makes them 'Panic at the Disco'. Now, you'd think I might be relieved, like the ~~person~~ idiot who wrote the iTunes review for their new album, 'Pretty. Odd.'. Because they said something about 'absence of unnecessary punctuation marks' and I was all like "WTF????" because Panic's '!' is -GONE- and it will never be the same again.
SOB!

** I don't think any of you would know about Jessi unless you've been looking through the dusty archives of melodrama. Well, she was one of the most random friends I ever had, and after a long, awkward silence between us, I IMed her on an unfamiliar screenname today and she KNEW IT WAS ME. Spooky, since I didn't tell her or anything. But kinda cool too. I realize I missed Jessi. Our meaningless fun was so...well, fun. And besides, she gave me a freaking guinea pig.
Luv to Jessi!

***actually, dad told me it was the second-best paper I had ever written. I was rather offended, because I really didn't think it was that great.

I Heart Gmail

2008-02-26T13:10:00.003-05:00

To: duloque@gmail.com
From: unigal17@gmail.com
Subject: Hello.

Hello. Hello again, I say! And Mouldy strawberries shall devour the world, and gray and orange cows with pink and blue emo stripes shall eat the carnivorous, herbivorous things.
And yet I survive, with as little insanity as humanly possible.

(Note: I seem to be in a state of herbivorous blogging. Hmm. Will have to look into this.)

UPDATE: Response!

To: unigal17@gmail.com
From: duloque@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Hello.

"As much insanity as inhumanly possible," said the squirrel to the miraculous, though wet, season.

To: duloque@gmail.com
From: unigal17@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Hello.

And, hark! the rain did fall, and denied its own season-ness, soaking the bedraggled squirrel and its metaphorical acorn of philosophy.

C'mon, Plant, Do Dat Thang (or, Oy, You Bloody Herb, Eateth This Thy...you get the point.)

2008-02-24T12:19:00.007-05:00

Coincidental to Alex's recent herbivorous theatrical venture, I went to see a production of Little Shop of Horrors last night. Oddly, my aunt, who is six years older than me, was in that play in high school, and I went to see it when I was very small, sitting happily in blissful, childish ignorance of the events on the stage.
Well.
I remembered the opening number in her production. I think she was one of the backup singer girls. But that is not the point. The point is that I have an excellent memory. I also remember that the plant was large and acid green, and bigger than me when I was...however old I was. Maybe she (my aunt H) was in middle school instead.
But last night...was so different. First of all, I would like to tell you that I got a discount for showing my college ID, which totally rocks and made up for the absence of Intermission Snacks. What's more, I actually understood the play this time around, which is always a plus.
Essentially, Alex's summary of the play was accurate:

Summarized, it's basically this: Nerd breeds plant, plant talks and likes blood, plant eats evil dentist, plant eats pretty girl, plant takes over the world and eats everything else. Just heartwarming, really.

Yep. Thanks, Alex. Plant also eats nerd and employer. Well, the play was good, and the actors were good. It was funny, in that 'darkly-comedic-musical-of-doom-he-he-he' way. And who doesn't love that? Go see it. To avoid confusion, there is a distinct difference between Audrey, Audrey, and Audrey II.
Audrey is my friend, who has absolutely nothing to do with this play. Heh.
Audrey is the main female character, the one involved with the abusive, sadistic dentist. Both of them get eaten by the plant, as does the nerd, who obviously falls in love with the girl.
Audrey II, on the other hand, is none other than the evil ,bloodthirsty, man-eating, power-hungry plant! Yay! Oddly enough, the plant puppet (which, by the way, is huge!!!), is strangely cute. Heh.

Anyway, watch out for them plants, y'all!

<3

2008-02-19T16:27:00.008-05:00

Excerpt from a Gmail chat with Daddy (if you don't have Gmail, get it now.):

Dad: And very crisp in his presentation, right?

He doesn't mince words.

me: crispeh

Dad: Spiffeh

me: meh

http://www.wireless.att.com/cell-phone-service/cell-phones/cell-phones.jsp?WT.svl=calltoaction&source=ICE101112f0p0600&ContentId=900281

Dad: yah

yeh

me: mao

4:08 PM

Dad: I wish you had not shown me that.

:(

me: why?

Dad: wahhhhhhhhhhh

me: oh...big iPhone

4:09 PM

Dad: If I get it at some point, do you want my existing one?

me: YES

Dad: Really? I could sell it...

4:10 PM

me: wait, yours is broken

:(

Dad: No it's not!

me: yes it is

its cracked and scratched

Dad: It's a hairline imperfection

It's not scratches

scratched

Okay...I'll sell it

me: it got squashed by an 18 wheeler truck

Dad: No prob.

me: LOL YOURE A TRUCK

4:11 PM

Dad: Yes

me: LOL

Dad: I is ain't not a truck.

me: You isn't ain't no truck.

4:12 PM

Dad: No be isn't ain't no truck nohow...

me: Y'all say it, you's're a truck.

Dad: nOpE...

4:15 PM

me: Doof.

4:17 PM

Dad: fOoD

me: Dood.

4:18 PM

Dad: DEAD 4 a DAY

4:19 PM

YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kewl

me: How Sweet the Swamp

Dad: PLANETARY RISK

me: FREE FALL

4:20 PM

Dad: DOPE ON A ROPE

me: McDOODS

Dad: DUCK LORDS IN PARADISE

me: TONIGHT WE FALL

Dad: CHARLEY AND THE DARK CHOCOLATE FACTORY

4:21 PM

me: DUCK TRUCK AND THE EVIL BEER

Dad: DIRK

me: DUCK

Dad: HAHAHA

me: AHAHA

4:22 PM

Dad: NO DUCKS ALLOWED

DUCKBALL

me: MOOLANDER

4:23 PM

Dad: SCHOOL OF DUCK

me: CRUNCHY DEMOLITION

Dad: DUCKIN DONUTS

4:24 PM

me: THE BLING

Dad: SLAM DUCK

me: TRIPLE-DUCKER AMBU-TANK

Dad: (That's the spirit)

me: (yeap)

And this is hilarious, so I felt compelled to share it with YOU. Yes, you. Don't you feel special? Well, you should. Muacks, megatackleglomps, and much love to all y'all.
Ducks.

Newscast: Where Are You?

2008-02-18T13:44:00.004-05:00

Ally is MIA.
Again.
Any information pertaining to her disappearance would be greatly appreciated.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Angelique has consented to designing graphic tees! If you are interested in experimenting with design programs, promoting yourself with shameless self-advertisement, and making some sweet cash, contact moi with your design.

All for now, peeps. Later.

Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T15:33:00.005-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Yep, it's that day again. Chocolate and roses and stuffed critters and hearts and chocolate and overall decadence. It's also the only day of the year when pink and red can work together and not clash, the day when white lace is acceptable, and the day where love is in the chocolate-scented air!

It's also one of those times when nobody cares how much chocolate you're eating because they're too busy eating chocolate themselves.

Anyway, to celebrate, here's a great big Vally-day megatackleglomps to y'all.

*megatackleglomps!!!!*

Spread the love!!

Randomly hug people! You know why? It's Valentine's Day! Enjoy! Be decadent! eat chocolate! Commercial holidays are super-delicious!

Some cute pictures to celebrate with coming later.

Um...ouch?

2008-02-12T11:21:00.001-05:00

Overheard the other night on TV.

Singsong opera voice with accent: "My hosband ees a ba-a-a-a-a-ad man, 'oo drives me into ruinnnnnnn!!!!!!!"

Why Must They Be So Strange?

2008-02-11T12:01:00.000-05:00

As you may have guessed from the title, I'm talking about my family.
My mom, who is likely responsible for my otherwise self-induced split personality disorder. She also over-personified inanimate objects when I was really young. Hence, I always feel so sorry for them...and that's probably why i don't like eating things with faces. Which makes sense, seeing as I'm a vegetarian.

My dad, who, being my dad, is the bane of my teenage girl-hood, is so weird. Like, last night? I was watching 'My big Fat Greek Wedding' with my mother (absence of plans + really cold weather = unwillingness to move and results in my watching TV all day like a dead slug) and he comes over with cookies and ice cream (after I ate a baked potato) and there are like five scoops of ice cream...and they are all cut into the Star-Fleet logo, which I think is from...Star Trek? Okay, so my dad is a Trekkie, and he's a...professor?
Oh dear.
Oh, and did I fail to mention his love for comedic sketches? And that he has a MacBook Pro and an iPhone?
Weird.

And THEN-yes, there is more!-there's my dog, Quinn, who can't see a thing with all his hair in front of his face, and (of course, this explains a lot) he's blond! Oh yes, I have a blond dog who weighs about fifteen pounds on a good day and is always being chased by my DAD. Not the other way around, either. And then there's my guinea pig, who is technically named Paprika, was formerly named Poof, and is now simply called 'Piggy', and my dad refuses to hold her because she scares him.
Won't even go into the rest of my less immediate family. Have to get to History immediately.

Of Skeletons in Smelly Closets, An Abundance of Charcoal, Fishy Sushi, Very Old Mail, Ideas, and the Rain-Inducing Art Gods of Outrageous Fortune

2008-02-05T11:40:00.000-05:00

Last night, in a sort of desperate response to my Drawing 2 class and innate obsession with charcoal, the use of which usually results in what I call 'art' and what other people call 'the cue to run for cover and save one's life, clothing, and natural skin tone while avoiding being pelted by nearly invisible razor-sharp bits of burnt black dust' but most often results in...well, very messy art, blackened hands, and erasers which can double as (start running now) MORE CHARCOAL! YESSS! -
Anyway.
Last night, my mother suggested I use one of dear ol' daddy's old shirts as an 'art smock' so I wouldn't get charcoal all over myself (as any self-respecting charcoal-addict is wont to do). And though I tried to say no (or rather, "NOOOOOOO! ANYTHINGBUTONEOFDADDYSOLDSMELLYSHIRTS!"), she managed to open his closet (!!!!!!!!!shock!!!!!!!!!) and reach into it (!!!!!!!!gasp!!!!!!!) and start...organizing? Horror of horrors! Fifteen minutes later...
MOM, sitting in Dad's closet: Don't use that door. (gestures to door completely blocked by mountain of questionable clothing)
ME: *shudder*
Mom: Ouch! What was that?
Me: *watching in silent horror*
Mom: Oh no, it's one of Quinnie's...bones...I remember this one...we wondered where it went.
QUINN enters room.
Mom: That was...three or four bones ago...
Quinn: ???? *sniffs pile in middle of floor*
Me: Hi, Quinn.
Quinn: *snorts and looks at mom with a look that clearly says "Gimme my bone, woman!"*
Mom: ...and he complains that he doesn't have any ties...no wonder! *pulls tie off floor* They're all at the bottom of his closet.
Me: *not paying attention* Mmm. Weird.
Mom: *runs into kitchen for garbage bag, returns to closet, and starts stuffing closet-inhabiting trash into it. Bounty includes:
-candy wrappers
-tissues
-gum wrappers
-suspiciously old bits of paper
-random crap that really shouldn't have been able to fit in his pockets at all
Anyway, the bag was nearly full when she chucked it. Shudder.
Mom (upon finding another bone): The man has skeletons in his closet. Seriously.
SO. The excavation resulted in three practically ancient bones, some loose change, more ties, a strange piece of ribbon, some receipts, and some undefined things that even Mom was hesitant to exhume. Quinn went off to eat a year-old dental bone. Piggy ran around her house and squeaked madly. Mom went off to breathe. Dad stayed on the couch, asleep, and didn't move. I started drawing a hat.
Events Prior to the Closet-Digging Fiasco:

Dad received a package addressed to him in his own handwriting. It was later revealed that he himself had addressed the same envelope two years ago and mailed it off to some book-reviewing convention or something. And then it was mailed to him. Two years after the fact. I mean, what the hell? Can you spell r-a-n-d-o-m? I can.

Dad, being a vegetarian, questioned the content of his ex-favorite supposedly vegan or whatever mushroom sushi rolls.
Him: What's 'bonito'?
Me: Pretty.
Him: What?
Me: Pretty.
Him: No, I think it's a fish.
Me (sounding like an idiot): A pretty fish? Fisssssssssshhh...
Him: Can you look it up? With Google?
Me (Checking Dashboard widgets): Um...no. I don't have the Google toolbar up.
Him (grabbing iPhone): Bonito...bonito...
*later*
Him: It is a fish! *calls my mom over* There's fish in here.
Me: Hello, fisssshhhh.
Her: Oh. I won't get it anymore, then.
Him: It's got fish in it.
Her: Yes. We won't get it anymore.
Me: He was getting sick of it anyway.
Him: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?

My family is crazy.

Prior to all of that (more explicitly, before dad and I got home from the college):
His Officemate, PH,TUSW* (talking about her new film idea): Yeah, and then...(continues)
Dad: Yeah. That's a great idea.
PH, TUSW: Thanks. For (insert scene name here), I was thinking...a white couch, and then the bright red bloodstains...
Me (picturing dramatic scene in which interior design captivates the audience): What if it was...a white room, with little black accents? Then the blood would really stand out.
Dad: Don't interrupt.
PH, TUSW: It's okay...I like that idea. Except that April is a very...gentle, innocent, pastel-y person.
Me (having thought earlier about soft pastel touches): Maybe...a painting? Soft pastel pillows?
PH, TUSW: Yes! Or maybe instead of the couch being white, it could be...pale pink, or blue, or something.
(Dad, tuning out)

Though I think it would look better with a white couch in a white room with pastel accents. Innocence...and then the blood and all the white...and in the midst of it all, you have the pinks and yellows and blues, all overcome by the intensity of the scarlet.

Me: But in April, you have chocolate bunnies and colorful eggs...and then there's April Fool's Day and everyone's giving each other black eyes with telescopes.
PH, TUSW (laughs): She's quippy. Got those quips.
Dad (sounding somewhat reproachful): Yeah.

*PH, TUSW-Her name, Teh Uber Screen Writer

And now to return to this morning in art class...

Art teacher, pointing to drawing of angel: And---
*lightning strikes*
Him: The Art Gods have spoken! Ooh...when I pointed to the Angel...
*pokes picture again*
*thunder*
Aha! The Art Gods! The lightning! Just you see what happens if you don't come to class!
*laughs maniacally*
...and it's raining. And I didn't bring a raincoat.
Me: Maybe the Art Gods will shield you from the rain?
Him: Yes! Ahaha! Where I walk, there is a dry spot over me...

I love art class.
I love my life.
And in case you were wondering, I ended up with dad's old green robe and a cute scarf I have as a tie. And I wore all black today.
Because the charcoal loves me, too.

Super Bowl Sunday

2008-02-03T17:44:00.000-05:00

Yep. It's that time of year again, when a bunch of husky guys in shoulder pads and tight pants play in that monumental national event...
THE SUPER BOWL.
And we don't have any decent chips.
I have a feeling I'm actually going to have to watch those guys throw the football, jump on each other trying to get it, realize it's not at the bottom of the pile, run, crash into each other, stand around, and do it again, this year.
Oh dear.

Crap! It's February!

2008-02-01T13:13:00.000-05:00

Valentine's day is coming, and this means several things:
-I can wear pink, white, and red together for a month without the colors clashing
-I can buy more pink socks
- I need a new pair of shoes
-I have to put up the Feb. masthead
-Crap, I still don't have a boyfriend!

So, here's another apology for the delay in my bloggitude, but rest assured I'll make up January's posts soon.
In the meantime, why not enjoy a nice book beginning, written by MOI?
Go to 'MY BOOK' in the sidebar, and then you'll find the links to the others.
Because that's what I've been doing.

UPDATE: Masthead's up! Spifflicious!

A Promise

2008-01-25T16:20:00.000-05:00

From this point, I am going to continue blogging as though that enormous gap had never occurred. Let's get back to normal.
Yesterday I visited the Academy, but it so wasn't a normal day for them, because there was a performance. I hung out with some singing juniors for ten minutes and then went to the show, which was really good. After that, I shadowed a class of crazy sophomores for twenty minutes, which was all they could fit in before the end of the day, and we ended up playing a theater game. But first we had a discussion about the author of the play and his twisted sense of humor, weed, and windows. And when no one could think of a game for two minutes, someone suggested, and I quote, 'catching a freshman. They always know all the games', which, to say the least, was amusing. We ended up playing that game where there are people acting out a scene, and hen someone yells 'FREEZE!" and the scene stops, the person who called the freeze either joins the scene or replaces someone in it, assuming the former person's pose in the case of the latter, and starting a whole new, completely unrelated scene.
Very funny.

And we're back in 5...4...3...2...1!

2008-01-11T15:00:00.000-05:00

Apologies for the unexplained hiatus. I've been very busy doing absolutely nothing of significance. So, to give you a view into my life since, what, the...fourth? Yikes, things are worse than I thought!
We'll start at the commercial beginning of my week.
Monday. January 7th, 2008.
I usually hate Mondays with a passion, but I have to say, this one was pretty awesome.

My Monday:

I woke up at approximately 12:30 PM and proceeded to go down the stairs to do absolutely nothing of long-term significance, until Dad suddenly declared that I had an orthodontist appointment and he had a work deadline and we had to get to both and he didn’t know how we were going to get it all done in time. All that jazz, which resulted in a mad rush to the dental clinic, preceded by a madder rush up the stairs to get dressed, and my leaving the house looking fabulous but disgruntled.
Sat in the back seat for the ride over, looking out the window wearing my huge, white-rimmed sunglasses, applying lip gloss, and attempting to look glamorous to anyone who might see.
Sightings on way to dental clinic:
-Distinguished-looking guy with black briefcase attempting to enter funeral home
-Roadsign depicting exploding fire hydrant
-Dad running really fast and falling like a superhero
-Dunkin Donuts (about three times)

We actually got there on time, and Dad, wanting to fulfill his deadline, left me in the waiting room. The dentist appointment itself lasted for two minutes, at the most. So there I was, in the huge building, I ended up gravitating towards the gift shop, where I bought two ten cent peanut butter cups and a sixty cent pack of gum. Note to self: gift shop in ortho building best place for cheap candy.
Upon the realization that I needed to blog, I attempted to purchase a notebook for $1.20 before discovering that I had less than a dollar on me. How pathetic is that?
After walking out of the gift shop (again) I wandered around the building for a while, though I was too chicken to actually enter the psych ward.

I wonder if that particular psych ward has a ‘tower’ or a ‘zombie ward’. A while ago, my mom worked at a hospital which had both, which simultaneously intrigued me and freaked me out. I am scarred for life, but I’m okay. Yeah. Well, anyway, I sat around for a while (how useful) before going out into the courtyard of the building. It was dark, damp, and deliciously movie-creepy, so much so that I danced around and ran and made dramatic expressions and slowly walked on the stone ledges, wishing someone was taping me. Sigh, why is it that when I find a scene and a movie moment no one’s there to see? Anyway, I snapped some more pictures with my crappy cell phone camera, so here they are.

When Dad finally came to get me, we snapped some more pictures-namely, of the signs on the pay phones in the hall. I’ll get to those later.

Essentially, I spent Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday playing around with Photoshop and writing. Nothing more.

FRIDAY UPDATES COMING LATER.

I Guess It's My Turn Now...

2008-01-04T17:15:00.000-05:00

The ripple of bloggy-buddy advertising has reached me, here in my lair of megadrama. To elaborate, check out these sites. Their existence is courtesy of the Society of Unconventional Bloggers (unofficial name, for want of a real name). Enjoy!

Allison in Wonderland

The Clumsy Ninja

Mechanical Pencil Eraser

It's Raining Noodles!

Coconuts

There are many more (obviously, hence the blogging community. And that's just Blogger), but these are the ones I take time to visit, read, comment on, and catch up on. 'Cause after a while, these people aren't random cyberminds with web pages. They're people. They're alive.
Yes, I know it's shocking, but it's true! There are real people with blogs that they update as often as they can. Walk down the street, and wonder how many of those people that you pass do this. I bet there are more than you'd expect.
Then again, it's winter, and therefore freezing cold. I don't advise a walk at the moment.

If you're up for a bit of online shopping, make sure you check out ShanaLogic.com for some of the awesomest stuff on the web!
Well, that's my adlist. Check the links out! Oh, and by the way, all of these links and more are in the Lynx bar.

2008!

2008-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

New Year's Resolutions
DISCLAIMER: Should these resolutions fail, I am neither responsible for nor affiliated with these goals. In fact, if I don't succeed, I never wrote this and you never read it. Got that? Yeah. Fear my thuggish minions!

Up the fame factor! Become at least somewhat known by 2009.
Fulfill appearance goals! (i.e. hair, skin, etc.)
Become a chameleon, practically a shapeshifter. Pink hair! Colored contacts! Yesss!
Adopt or sponsor a dog.
Make money! Go shopping! I mean...invest. Responsibly. Of course.
Learn to play piano and guitar.
Practice singing.
Get portfolio together, meaning do artwork, write! A lot!
Blog more! Design stuff!
Achieve perfection, give or take a few years. Official loophole: This one goes until 2011!

Happy 2008, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or Something Hopefully Somewhat Similar

2007-12-28T14:10:00.000-05:00

Happy holidays, everyone!
Yes, I know it's been a long time. It's just so easy to get caught up in the spirit of the season! Holiday spirit! Elves! Spirit! Nutcrackers! Spirit! Presents! Yes, no matter what we say, no matter how good we are at acting, it all comes down to the presents we got!
Me? Oh, yes, thanks for wondering. I 'preciate it.
Much as I would like to go off on a tangent about my super-awesome presents, you'll have to settle for a short list.

-Chocolate, and lots of it! This supply included what I call 'hotel chocolates, because they are tiny, mint-flavored, individually wrapped, and of the sort you get after dinner at a fine restaurant, or the type which are laid on your pillow in fancy hotels. And they are yummy. Not having room service, a maid, or a mother who is allowed in my room, I've been keeping a supply in my room, placing one on my pillow from time to time. Like bendy straws, hotel chocolates make life nicer, and more civilized, to a certain extent. I have a feeling I'll have to put aside my savings for shoes, clothes, ducks, and bags until I have a nice supply of hotel chocolates to keep me feeling pampered. Trader Joe's, here I come!
Savings account...goodbye!

-More yoga and pilates equipment, to work off the chocolate. Unfortunately, I love the chocolate, and have been to lazy to actually do any yoga. Since the 24th, I've gained 5 pounds. I have to get off the couch and get on the floor, or start running. Fast.
I really, really want a treadmill. Which brings my so-called wishlist 'budget' up by another thousand. I need either a job, a break at fame and fortune, or an ancient relative I've never met to suddenly die and leave a large fortune to the oldest (or in this case, only) child of the married whatever. Namely, me. With any turn of outrageous fortune, I'll be going on a shopping spree! Sadly, my luck with money ain't so great.

-Relaxation, beauty, and pampering stuff. Ah, joy. Pedicures, manicures, and spa stuff! I finally got my styling iron.The only way it could possibly be better would be if it were pink. Yes, I said pink. It would match my cell phone and iPod case which I still need to buy. Another $30, right there, sigh.

-Oversized sunglasses, 3 new pairs! I got them for myself, but it was worth it! On the night I got them, I saw the most gorgeous metallic purple leather EVER by Guess, for $50! Now I can't find it anywhere on the web and it's making m so sad! If you think you've seen it, send me a picture and I'll let you know if it's the one.

Please help me.

-I also got a new iPod! I can't use it, however, until I send my old one back. And because my parents hid it for the time being, to my dismay. Can you say 'rawr'?

And now, for a Christmas story! Yay!

Once upon a time, in a relatively small, preppy town in the depths of New England, people rushed from shop to shop, ruthlessly pushing past others in a bid to get to the register first. Yes, indeed, it was the holiday rush, with everyone running about, buying last-minute gifts. Amidst the chaos was a cashless teenager, sitting here and complaining of said cashlessness. Not that she, being myself, would have put it to commercially good use, but come on, people! It's the holidays! Show me love and I'll show you love with cash. My cash. You no steal.

So on Christmas Eve, aforementioned teenager, Rayne, went off to her uncle's place with her family and enjoyed a fun, food-filled evening, no matter how disorganized-yet-OCD it was. Yay!

Rayne lugged her stuff upstairs in the sack which she had been given and remained awake, under the covers, doing yoga for several hours. With her iPod. Then, she fell asleep, only to awaken at ten o'clock the next morning, in dismay that she had slept so late on Christmas morning, though her skin thanked her. Presents followed! Yay! I won't elaborate, it was too exciting.
After Rayne had unwrapped my styling iron, she grabbed a present and it was...a curling iron. Then I realized why it was in her family's red Santa wrapping paper and had her cousin's name on it. Oops. Later, she rewrapped it, using far too much tape. It runs in the family, from darling Daddy's side.
After some happy chaos and breakfast (or, at least, tea), and a very long delay, having straightened her hair and put on a very cute outfit (which included these and this, and a very cute sparkly silver sweatshirt) they finally left, this time with their beloved dog, Quinn. Quinn wore a small Santa coat which he somehow managed to wriggle out of on the ride over, though no one was sure how he'd done it. Once they'd picked up the Chinese food and arrived at the house, Rayne greeted her cousins with hugs, kisses and presents! Yay! After everyone had said hello to each other and opened their presents (by the way, that pedicure kit works wonders!) they said hello to Quinn and Turbo, Tia's chihuahua mix, who was wearing a tiny brown argyle sweater. So cute! Anyway, Turbo wasn't so thrilled at the prospect of the comparatively large Quinn sniffing his tiny chihuahua butt. So there was chaos as Quinn chased Turbo and Turbo ran, and then hid. Quinn, not being the most persistent dog, gave up, leaving Rayne and her cousin Yas to cuddle the smaller dog for quite a long time. Then it was dinner time. After much consuming of yummies, the three girls and the young boy ran off to digest, play more videogames, cuddle more dogs, and eat more food. Well, Leyla got an mp3 player with a recording device, so she and Rayne spent over three minutes recording 'Helena' before Leyla went off and Rayne accidentally deleted the recording! So she re-recorded it. And the background noise, as a bonus. More wonderful chaos ensued.
Um...the end.

Well, having covered some of my holidays, I have to ask-how were yours? Leave comments describing your presents! Let's have a present contest! Whoever wins gets a virtual present! Or a PayPal donation, depending on the circumstances, hehe.
*My cousin's names have been abbreviated or slightly changed in spelling to protect their identities.*

Then They Ran Away on Cookie Legs...

2007-12-19T21:57:00.000-05:00

Today I made cookies. Snickerdoodles, to be exact.
Snickerdoodle is my brother's middle name.
So I used a gingerbread man cookie cutter...hence, Snickerdudes!
Anyway, they were so cute! I have a feeling it will be the first and last time in my life that I will look at a 'cookie-cutter' dude and think that he's cute.